If Only To Be With You
by Mistress Noin
Summary: AU 6x9: All's well in the Cinq Kingdom until one day, Prince Milliardo sees a beautiful woman bathing in the river...
1. An Unexpected Moonlight Meeting

A/U: Something like medieval times…everyone pretty much lives in the Cinq Kingdom.  Feedback not only welcome, but needed.  Please!  I like to know that people think of what I'm writing, though that goes without saying, really.  Yeah, it's late…

Disclaimer:  Rich people own Gundam Wing.  I'm poor.  Do the math.

If Only To Be With You 

The sun set with no more usual splendor than the day before.  It was rather tired the way people tended to gush about the myriad colors in the sky, or that one moment before the sun disappears where the heavens are ablaze in a glorious vision of light.  It was just a reminder of life, and for her a reminder her of all her pain.  It seemed that lately, nothing had the meaning to her that it once did.  If fact, _life_ meant no more to her than she did to her family.  She was alone now, without anyone in the world.  It didn't make any sense, but she didn't care anymore.  She didn't care that the woman who gave her life and that should've been the one person in the world she could depend on most should be the one to despise her.  She didn't care that her father agreed blindly with whoever was more likely to give him a hard time.

In her nineteen years of life, she could never fathom any reason her mother would have for hating her.  But the old woman did, just the same.  Finally, the hag had convinced her indifferent husband that their eldest daughter should get the hell out of their house and make her own life.  No matter that she left penniless and with nowhere to go, just as long as she was out. 

Lucrezia had stopped crying years ago.  She wouldn't let this mess reduce her to a helpless pile of female emotion.  No, she was done with that.  There was survival to think about.  For now, it would have to start in the woods.  It was the middle of the hot summer season and she had managed to wheedle her father out of his tiny cabin in the King's Forest.  He never used it anymore, though at one time in his miserable life, he had been a skilled huntsman and carpenter.  There was plenty of freedom in the forests outside of the city.  There were also none of the King's soldiers to haul her off the streets and into jail.  She had had enough training from her father to live on her own, not to mention the fact that she didn't have a choice.  

That night, she slept in the bare, cramped cabin.  She had a small fire for warmth and had managed to spear two fish for herself out of the river.  She sat, staring into the fire, with the same blank stare she had had on her face since she had walked out her front door for the last time.  

Silently, she wondered if there was a point to her surviving on her own and living at all.  Suicide was a coward's way to end pain, and she didn't mean to follow that path.  There had to be something worth all this pain and loneliness.  Her thoughts followed that agonizing road until she huddled against the wall, tightly forcing tears back.  She refused to cry; she'd get herself out of this.  She didn't know how, but that day, she vowed that she would see her mother again.  And that day, her mother would weep.  Lucrezia swore that that woman would cry endless rivers of shame and regret at what she had done.  

*          *          *

            The fish diet was getting old.  Lucrezia sat at the edge of the river, holding her fishing pole.  There were few wild vegetables in these parts, and the only thing she had been able to find were some small tubers.  She hated tubers.  Ten days and she didn't think she could stand much more.  

The line pulled and she rolled her eyes.  Lunch.  She gutted the fish and threw its bones into the river.  As she stood, gathering her things, she heard a horse trotting in the distance.  It was still a ways off, but she could see the rider's braid swinging in time with the horse's walk.  The rider spotted her and his horse sped up.  Lucrezia was tempted to run, but something made her stay put.  She hadn't seen another person since she came to the forests.  

"Hiya!" the rider called out, waving his hand as he slowed the horse down.  Lucrezia frowned slightly.  His garb signified he was a noble.  He was wearing black and gray, but Lucrezia had never bothered to learn what colors represented what provinces.  The young man looked to be about her age, perhaps a couple of years younger.  He dismounted, and strode up to her.  He looked as if he had never frowned before in his life.  His brown hair was plaited down his back, and his carefree posture put Lucrezia somewhat at ease.  But she had a hand at her dagger hilt, just in case.  

"Hi, what's a pretty lady like you doing out here alone?" he asked cheerfully.  

Lucrezia continued to eye him warily.  "I'm getting food.  That's not a crime, is it?" she replied brusquely.  She was not the least bit fond of nobles or other pompous men of power.  She didn't doubt for a second that she had seen and done more work in a day than he had in his whole life.  

The noble took a step back, not really surprised at the woman's attitude.  "Listen, I just wanted to say hi, and offer a hand if you needed."  He shrugged.  "I was just trying to be nice."  

Lucrezia was not moved.  "Of course, my Lord," she purred sarcastically.  "Forgive my ingratitude at refusing your divine offer for help.  I'm just a poor peasant."  She spat the last words at him, glaring hatefully at all his fine clothing.  

The grin disappeared.  The nobleman got back on his horse.  "If that's the way you want it," he said.  He watched her for a moment, returning her defiant stare.  In the distance, she heard more horses.  She turned and disappeared into the forest.  The young man kept his eyes on her as she left, staring into the trees.  

"Duo," a dark-haired man called out to him.  He turned to see two more riders appear from the forest.  "We thought you'd been eaten," Heero said sardonically, with his characteristically blank face as the blonde man beside him laughed.

 "Or fell into the river," Milliardo added, smirking.

"Ha, ha, very funny you two," Duo said, rolling his eyes.  "I was just…admiring the river," he trailed off.  He decided to keep his mouth shut about the feisty little wretch he had just encountered, though he really had wondered why she was out alone in the middle of the forest.  The rebellious glare on her face stuck in his head.  "We should probably get back.  I need some food."  Duo turned his horse, heading back to the palace.  Milliardo and Heero exchanged wondering glances and followed.  

*          *          *

            The marketplace was loud, crowded and utterly nauseating.  Lucrezia hated the marketplace, but she needed to eat something other than fish.  She had found some good wood and whittled a few animal figures that were decent enough to sell.  

She wandered past the stalls with the money she had left over after buying two meat pies and a water skin.  She might have enough for a warm blanket if she haggled.  

"_Four_ royals?!" she exclaimed.  "You must be out of your mind.  I'll give you one gold royal and three silvers," she said, sounding as if she was doing him a favor.  The blanket wasn't worth more than two gold royals.

"Lady, please.  I gotta make a living; I'll take three royals," the man whined.

Lucrezia snorted.  "A royal and six silvers.  That's all I'm willing to pay."

"…Fine."

            The sun was starting to set when Lucrezia finally started back for the forest.  The crowd was dwindling and she easily made her way to the outskirts of the city.  She passed house after house full of warmth, family, and love.  Each time she heard laughter, her resolve for revenge strengthened.

It was completely dark when she got to the edge of the woods.  She knew woodwork rather well and figured there would be some carpenter willing to take her on as an apprentice.  There were few trade masters that would take in a woman to learn a skill.  But she couldn't stay in the forest forever.

She lit a small fire in the hearth and went down to the river to wash.  The muggy summer heat and all the walking had left her feeling grimy and tired.  She moaned wearily as she felt the warm water rushing in around her legs as she stepped in.  Closing her eyes, she sank into the water, sighing contentedly.

*

            Milliardo watched the woman bathe from the shadows of the tree under which he rested.  He had been there since the sun had set, watching the river.  He did it often, sorting out his thoughts while day turned to night.  Then he had heard the woman as she came to the river.  She hadn't seen him or his horse as she walked past.  He had been sitting right behind her as she undressed, but he had stayed silent.  Her clothes were only a few feet away.  He sat quietly, watching the moonlight shimmer off her wet skin.  She was beautiful.  

It would be impossible for her to not see him when she came out.  As she had had her back to him when she walked to the river, she would have to face him when walking back to her clothes.  He smirked.  Her reaction would be most interesting.  

*

            The wind was blowing harder when Lucrezia emerged from the water.  There was an odd feeling in the pit of her stomach as she got out.  She went to where her clothes lay and saw the figure in the shadows.  He sat, leaning against the tree trunk, resting his arms on his knees in a careless, arrogant manner.  Lucrezia dashed for her blanket, wrapping herself in it furiously.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?!" she cried out at the man in the shadows.  She couldn't see his face, but she heard his laughter.  He stood and stepped forward.  

"Well," he drawled.  "Just enjoying the river…I _was_ here first."

Lucrezia stood, eyeing him.  His eyes were like ice, cold and penetrating.  Long blonde hair cascaded down his back, with bangs that partially covered his eyes.  He wore fine black pants that hugged his long legs and a loose white shirt, just open enough to expose his smooth, well-muscled chest.  

"What are you doing here all alone?" he asked, with what Lucrezia could swear was concern in his voice.  She was vaguely frightened, but knew perfectly well how to defend herself.

"That is none of your business," she snapped, snatching up her clothes.  She stepped past him and continued walking.  The young man went after her, grasping her arm.  Instinctively, Lucrezia's free arm shot out at his face, causing her to drop her clothes and the blanket covering her body.  He caught her arm with his other hand before it struck him, holding her firmly captive.  He brought her arms behind her back, pulling her close, her naked body pressed tightly against his.  

"Now…" he whispered into her ear.  "That's no way to answer, is it?"  His blue eyes looked into her violet ones, studying her intently.  "Who are you?" he asked, trying to stop his breath from quickening.  There was fear in her eyes, but also a fury that took him by surprise.  He realized just how the situation must seem to her and he loosened his grip, though not relinquishing it.  There was no doubt in his mind that she would lash out at him should he let go.  

"I'm not going to hurt you, okay?" he said soothingly, although he had the feeling she was not the type to be calmed by pleasant words while he held her against her will.  "I'd let you go, but I'm afraid you'll cuff me," he said, a sheepish smile creeping across his lips.  "I just want to know your name."

Her eyes narrowed.  "My name is Lucrezia," she said, feeling her desire to kick him in the groin disappearing as his gaze deepened.  He repeated her name, letting each syllable roll off his tongue, smiling at the blush on her cheeks.  

Of course, this must be a discomforting position for her to be in… "What are you doing here, Lucrezia?" he asked again, this time gently, his eyes narrowing slightly with concern.  

"I…"she faltered, not wishing to tell him that she had been kicked out of her home and had no where to go but a shack in the King's Forest.  She turned away, looking at the river behind him.  "It's a long story," she mumbled.  Suddenly, she felt more alone than she had since she _became_ alone.  

The man reached for the edge of the fallen blanket with the toe of his boot and kicked it up, letting go of Lucrezia's right hand to grab the blanket.  Wrapping it around her, he took a step back.  She looked up at him with surprise.  "Who are _you_?" she asked.

He laughed.  "My name…well," he trailed off.  He wondered if he should tell her his name.  "My name is Milliardo," he said.  Her eyes widened.

"You're Milliardo Peacecraft, the…heir to the throne of the Cinq Kingdom," she uttered flatly.  

The Prince only shifted uncomfortably.  "The one and only," he said.  "Are you going to run away and hate me now?"

Lucrezia cocked an eyebrow.  "What makes you think I didn't hate you before?" she remarked.  

Milliardo looked stunned for a moment and then frowned when Lucrezia laughed softly.  He cleared his throat, deciding to change the subject.  "Would you care for a lift to your home?"  He made a clicking sound and his horse appeared from behind a thick cluster of trees.  "What's wrong?" he said, seeing Lucrezia's face pale.

She shook her head.  "No, thank you.  I'm fine," she said.  There was no way to get out of this, he had a horse and would most certainly follow her to the pathetic hut she was calling home.

"I'd rather see you home safely," Milliardo said, offering a hand to help Lucrezia mount his horse.  He winced when she stepped back.  His eyebrows knitted as he saw the almost frightened look on the girls face.  Had he been that much of ass to her that she didn't even want to accept his help?  Straightening, his face lost all expression and he mounted his horse gracefully.  "If that is the way you want to be, I'll not force you."  His voice was cold.  "Good evening."  

The horse took off in the direction of the palace.  Lucrezia could only stare after him.  There she stood until she noticed that she was trembling with cold and shock.  She picked up her clothes and miserably made her way back to her home, collapsing in front of the fire.  Dressed and very tired, Lucrezia lay down and closed her eyes.  

They shot right back open.  All she saw that the blonde Prince, offering his hand to her.  She groaned, irritated.  Of course, he was undeniably attractive and he had felt so warm pressed against her…but that meant nothing!  He was Prince Milliardo, heir to the throne of the Cinq Kingdom, and would never give a commoner like her a fleeting glance, let alone a ride home.  Maybe he wasn't the Prince, just a sad, lonely wannabe.  Lucrezia nodded, liking that possibility more.  At least it let her get to sleep.   

*          *          *

            The palace grounds were nearly deserted as the Prince finally rode into the stable.  With a yawn, he left his mount with the Stable master and wearily headed to his chambers, hoping his mother was already asleep.

"Milliardo, dear, might I have a word with you?" the soft voice floated down the hall before he even passed her door.  He groaned; he'd be there all night…poor Queen Peacecraft was an insomniac.  

"Good evening, Mother," he said, smiling tightly.  He didn't step past the doorway, hoping against all odds that she'd let him go with just a goodnight.  

The Queen rose from her sofa and went to give her son a kiss.  Her nose crinkled and she stepped back.  "Darling, you've been in the forests again."  She sighed disapprovingly.  "Please, Milliardo, you know that you should be with your father.  You _are going to be King one day, or did you forget that?"  There was that look on her face; she expected an answer, and it just __had to be long and soul rending or else he was avoiding her and didn't love her anymore.  He wasn't in the mood for one of her tirades or her guilt tripping.  _

Milliardo figured he might as well sharpen his diplomatic skills a bit.  "Mother, I assure you that I am spending time with Father.  But every man has to go out and get some fresh air, ride through the woods, hunt… Mother, I don't want to wear you out.  Get some rest.  I've got to go wash anyway.  You don't want your only son smelling like a sweaty stableman, right?"  He laughed at his mother's horrified expression.  "Good night, Mother," he said, giving her a peck on the cheek and dashing out before she could protest.

"Damn," he muttered under his breath when he finally reached his chambers.  "That was too close."  He undressed as he stumbled to the bath, dropping his clothes to the floor as he walked.  The bath was already drawn and Milliardo settled in, sighing as the hot water relaxed him completely.  There was absolute quiet.  

An hour of time all to himself was a rarity nowadays for the Cinq Prince.  There were councils to participate in, endless academic lessons, military strategy and tactics, and a whole mess of politics that made his head swim.  

Right now, however, was not the time to think of that.  He'd have the rest of his life to do it.  At the moment, the only think Milliardo Peacecraft wanted was sleep.  

~~~

Author's Notes/Comments/Rants: Well, I've never written an AU before, so…this _is_ a learning experience.  Um…I've really wanted to do Zechs/Noin fics since there are so little of them out there.  Or maybe I'm not looking in the right places?  It's kind of late right now, so whatever I really want to say won't come out right; I'm going to go to sleep.  Constructive criticism and comments are always welcome.  Flames are _not_, but they're hilarious anyway.  


	2. Life Goes On

Yeah, I realize that I keep spelling Cinq with an 'S'…which is weirding me out because I'm usually such a freak about spellings.  Hmm, maybe because I finished the first chapter at like, 2am…  Oh well, I'm quite sure that the official spelling is Cinq.  Besides, it looks cooler.

Disclaimer:  I don't own Gundam Wing.  I am making $0.00 profit off this.  

If Only To Be With You 

Summer turned to autumn slowly.  Lucrezia barely noticed until she spent a whole night shivering despite the fact she had a large fire burning.  The next day, she went into the city to find a boarding house.  She had more than enough saved.  A merchant family had agreed to buy her wood figures to sell at their market.  She only had to make a trip there once a week to bring her merchandise and occasionally help them out.  The three had become fast friends; the couple had taken to Lucrezia, as she had to them.

It seemed hard to believe that she had made a life for herself already.  Granted, it was only just enough money for the essentials, but with her savings, Lucrezia saw it as the first step.  This was her first step toward becoming more than her mother.

During the noon hour, the marketplace was considerably less crowded than the afternoon hours.  Lucrezia strolled through the stalls, planning to pay a visit to Wufei and Sally, though she silently prayed Wufei was in a good mood.  She couldn't figure _how_ Sally had married the man.  He was rude, overbearing, and chauvinistic.  But he did love his wife.  There were precious few times that he had shown it, but it was there.  

The Dragon Market was near empty when she stepped in.  She was glad; for it was almost always packed with customers wanting the latest exotic foreign goods the place specialized in.  Sally Po stood behind the display counter, showing a woman their incense variety.  Lucrezia waited patiently until the woman had left before greeting Sally.

"Good afternoon, Sally," she said.  "I see you're getting a break today."  She gestured to the three customers in the store.  

Sally rolled her eyes.  "Yeah, you should have seen it about an hour ago.  You remember those little jade figurines we had shipped in last week?  Well, they are all gone."  Lucrezia's eyebrows shot up.  "Wufei's practically dancing in the back.  He's dying to order more." Sally shook her head thoughtfully.  

"I'm glad to hear it, Sally.  I love this place," she said with a smile.  "Oh, guess what," she added excitedly.

Sally leaned on the display case in anticipation.  "What, and don't make me guess.  You know I hate that," she warned, waggling a teasing finger at Lucrezia.  

"Well, I finally saved enough for a room somewhere decent.  I can finally get out of that shack."  She grinned. 

The news reminded Sally of something she had been meaning to talk to her friend about.  "That's great, Lu!  I'm happy and all that great stuff, but I just you just reminded me…Wufei and I want you to take the spare room in the back.  He wants you to work here permanently."  The grin on Sally's face was contagious.  "Sort of like a business partner type thing."

"Really?" she asked breathlessly.  When Sally nodded enthusiastically, Lucrezia ran behind the counter and bear hugged her.  Just then, Wufei stepped in, raising an eyebrow at the two.

"I take it that's a yes, Lucrezia?" Wufei added, a hint of a smile playing on his usually stoic face.  "If you're going to stay here, you're going to have to work," he said forcefully.  "I will not tolerate indolence and idleness."  Sally began giggling as Wufei began spouting a list of do's and don'ts.  Clenching his fists, he slowly turned around, fixing his wife with a Death Glare.  "What the hell is wrong with you, woman?" he demanded.  Her laughter only grew, until she was doubled over, clinging to the display case for support.  

"I'm sorry, love," she managed, clearing her throat and trying to keep a straight face.  "It's just… oh, leave her alone."  Thoroughly amused, Sally went to the front of the store to assist a customer.  

Wufei crossed his arms over his chest and grunted.  "Someday I will put her in her place."  Rolling her eyes, Lucrezia took a seat on a stool, a smirk on her face.  The man must have repeated the same threat at least once a day; he had yet to carry it out.  

Business started picking up and Wufei insisted she start right away.  Then he disappeared to the back with Sally, a gleam in his eyes that made Sally blush as they hurried off.  Lucrezia rolled her eyes.  The last time they had done that, they had been so loud the customers had heard, casting odd glances toward the back and then at Lucrezia.  She had no good cover for them; she could only shrug, embarrassed.

Thankfully, the store began filling up again and the noise of the customers was enough to drown out any of Wufei and Sally's love cries.  Lucrezia sighed in relief and began milling around the store, aiding patrons with whatever she could.  It seemed everyone wanted the little jade figurines, and Lucrezia had to tell everyone who asked that there simply were no more.  She hadn't thought to prepare for disgruntled customers.

"What do you mean!" yelled a short, hefty man.  He waved his arms about, wafting his unpleasant body odor and alcohol breath about.  Very soon, people began leaving, the stench too overpowering.  "Damn it, I come all the way over here and I expect some damn _service_!" he cried, spittle flying everywhere.  Lucrezia tried to reason with him, explaining the obvious.  The drunk, however, kept interrupting and flapping his arms like a madman.  

"Look, I'm not going to tell you again, old man!" she shouted, when he swung his hand and knocked over a vase.  Wufei was going to have a fit.  "Get your drunken ass _out_ of here!" she demanded, shoving him toward the door.  She barely ducked his flying fist as he stumbled out of the door.  Apparently, someone had alerted the city guards; the drunk was promptly hauled away.  

Gasping for air, Lucrezia sat down hard on the floor, her hand at her chest.  She was trembling, not so much out of fear as frustration at the idiocy of the drunk.  It was certainly an interesting experience for her first day.  There were footsteps behind her and then someone kneeling beside her.

"Are you hurt?" asked an oddly familiar voice.  Lucrezia turned and found herself face to face with Prince Milliardo.  He was dressed as a commoner, wearing a cloak to hide his hair and most of his face.  Hurriedly, she scrambled up, instantly wary of him.  He straightened and crossed his arms, smiling at her approvingly.  "You did well," he remarked.  

Lucrezia lifted her head up, meeting his gaze squarely.  "Is there something I can help you with?"  She gave no indication of having met him before.  

The Prince uncrossed his arms and sauntered over to her.  "Well, actually yes."  He gave the store a look over and sighed.  "I've never been here and I'm looking for a gift."  He smiled disarmingly.  "Think you can help me out?"

Still not trusting him for a moment, Prince or not, Lucrezia resumed her position behind the counter.  From there, two feet of glass kept her a safe distance from him.  "What kind of gift are you looking for?" she asked, forgetting ever having met him before; this was strictly business.  

He appeared interested in the tiny porcelain trees inside the glass case.  "It's for my sister.  She's turning fifteen.  I wanted to get her something different," he chuckled softly, watching her intently.  "This place is certainly different.  An exotic flavor to it, no?" he said, his voice low.  Her reaction was fairly predictable; she backed away, a slight flush on her cheeks.

"I would, um, recommend some jewelry, perhaps?  There's a beautiful opal necklace –" she stopped short at Prince shaking his head.  "No jewelry?" she asked.

"Something unique," he stressed the last word.  "I want her to pass out."  

Taking a deep breath and trying desperately to ignore his charm, Lucrezia wracked her brains, thinking of the shop's inventory.  Then she thought of the perfect gift.  "Come with me," she said, beckoning for him to follow her.  She led him the small garden in the back, a small affair with countless varieties of vibrantly colorful flora.  In the far corner, there were three clay pots, each holding what appeared to be tiny trees.  "These," she began, cradling a pot in her hands, "are _very_ rare here.  They are miniature trees; it's a very rewarding hobby."  

She held it out to Milliardo, who took in, peering at it skeptically.  "What do you do with them?" he asked, poking at the branches.  It was absolutely marvelous, a tiny tree.  Relena would love it.  

Lucrezia took a seat on the ground, taking the tree back from the Prince.  "Well, you have to buy special pruning scissors.  Just keep it fed, in the sun, and looking like a tree."  

He nodded.  "Uh, huh," he snatched the pot away from Lucrezia and stood.  "Okay, I'll take it, plus the scissors."  Grinning down at her, he proffered a hand to her.  Still hesitant, she took it.  

The total cost was definitely more than Milliardo had planned for.  "I'm _sure_ your mistaken, Lucrezia; that can't be the price."   She was slightly surprised that he remembered her name, but she was more annoyed that the Cinq Prince should complain about spending money.

"I'm _sure_ it won't be a large blow to your budget, Highness," she stated sarcastically.  

Milliardo regarded Lucrezia as if she knew nothing.  "It's a miniscule_ tree_, my dear.  I could cut a clipping off a bush and it'd be the same thing."  He frowned at the woman in front of him, who stood cocking a bemused eyebrow at him.  

"Are you trying to haggle?" she inquired.  He nodded in exasperation.  She grinned, "Nope, that's the price, all sales are final.  Don't like it, go somewhere else."  She seized the tree from him.  Now she was having fun; seeing His Highness looking bewildered was pure joy.  

He narrowed his eyes playfully at the smug look she shot him.  "All right then, lady.  I see there's no sweet talking you," he joked, producing a money pouch.  She smiled and laughed.  "Damn, I paid all that for a few sticks and leaves…" he shook his head with mock regret.  Glad he was able to coax a laugh out of her, he went on, encouraged.  "You know, I'm sorry about that time by the river.  I didn't mean to spy on you," he said, his tone serious.  

Her eyes widened; she had completely forgotten about that.  Wait…she _forgot_?  How could she have?  This Milliardo, Prince though he was, was not getting off that easily.  Abruptly, she schooled her features back into hostility mode.  She finished packing up his purchase and cleared her throat.  "Well, it was certainly a pleasure," she said, though her voice sounded like it had been quite the opposite.  

Milliardo frowned.  "Look, can we just start all over again?"  He was being sincere now.  There was a part of his mind that couldn't stand be have her upset at him.  Though he was the Crown Prince and shouldn't care what a commoner thought of him…there was something about her that made him care.  That she was gorgeous, he had already admitted the first time he saw her.  Now, he found himself staring into her deep violet eyes and longing to have her pressed against him again.  Of course, that could never happen, he knew, but still…

Meanwhile, Lucrezia stood, fiddling with a little child's doll left on the counter, pretending she hadn't heard him.  "Did you hear me?" the Prince asked softly.  Gently, he took the doll out of her hands and placed a soft hand on her cheek, forcing her to look at him.  

The ice blue eyes were silently pleading with her.  Their eyes remained locked for an agonizingly long moment before Lucrezia heard footsteps in the back.  She backed away, breaking her gaze.  

"So _this_ is what you call work?" Wufei asked, sauntering out with a really satisfied look on his face.  Behind him was Sally, a wide grin plastered to her face.  

Before Lucrezia could muster a response, Milliardo interjected, 'Thank you so much for your help.  I'm sure my sister will love her gift."  He smiled affectionately.  "I'll be sure to stop by again."

To that, Wufei could say nothing.  Casting a dubious glance at the door, Wufei grumbled something under his breath and went to rearrange his precious display of mahogany lacquered keepsake boxes.  They were his handmade pride and joy.  Once he had gone, Sally cleared her throat expectantly.  "So…who was that?" she asked eagerly.  "He was _ab_solutely dazzling!"  She clasped her hands together dramatically. 

"He was nobody," she said faintly.  Closing her eyes, she still saw his image clearly.  "Just trying to be suave."

"_Trying?_" she exclaimed.  "I'd say he was succeeding."

Lucrezia gave her a pained look.  "Aren't you married?"  

Sally crossed her arms and scowled.  "That doesn't mean I can't admire anyone else," she said defensively.  

There was no way Lucrezia was going to add the fact that he was the Prince of Cinq.  She tactfully left that little fact out when Sally began grilling her for details on him.  

After finishing the traumatizing session of Twenty Questions, Lucrezia was finally able to leave the shop for a while.  Outside, the sun was beginning to sink over the horizon, resulting in the fast drop in temperature.  She walked briskly to her cabin for what would be the last time.  Though, she didn't own much, there were a few possessions she wanted to take.  There was also the sizable amount of money she had buried under a thorny old bush.  

A refreshing bath and two bowls of soup later, Lucrezia climbed into bed.  Her room was as far from Wufei and Sally's as it could get and she only prayed they didn't keep her up.  Thankfully, sleep took her quickly and she dreamt of a handsome prince with shining blue eyes.  

*          *          *

            The Princess Relena celebrated her birthday with more flair and extravagance than last year.  Milliardo hadn't thought it was possible.  On the upside, she had adored his gift and couldn't stop raving about it.  Apparently, these kinds of exotic hobbies were popular among her age group.  He didn't doubt for a second that the tree would be dead within two months.

A day later, Relena had come to her bolder brother's rooms, holding her tree and whining.  Half the tree was gone.  "Mil-li-ar-do-o, it's _dying_," she wailed, crumpling into one of the armchairs in his sitting room, where he was reading.  "Why are the leaves falling off?  I think you need to get a refund, dear brother," she pouted.  

The Prince chuckled.  "Relena, are you doing everything I told you?  Water, sunlight, pruning?" he said, not looking up from his book as he spoke.  

She rolled her eyes.  "How should _I_ know?  Dorothy's been taking care of it.  I should just get rid of _her_ then, if she's not going to do her job right."

"Now, Relena, the Catalonias have been with our family for many generations.  I'm sure Father wouldn't approve of you dismissing Dorothy because she didn't properly look after your tree."

Sighing, Relena set the tree on the floor and crossed her legs daintily.  "I guess you're right.  What would I ever do without you, Mill'?" she asked.  He smiled at her affectionately.  "…Milliardo?"

"Yes, Relena?"  Her tone was serious, and he could tell she'd come for more than just the tree.  He put down the book and gave her his full attention.

Suddenly, she clammed up.  Wringing her hands, she took a deep breath and let it out.  "Father wants me to marry."  

The King had not informed Milliardo about anything regarding Relena marrying.  He frowned slightly.  "Go on," he gestured encouragingly.  

"Well," she continued, her voice shaking.  "He wants me to marry Lord Duo.  And…" she started to cry.  "And I don't love him," she sobbed into her hands.  "It isn't fair!"

"Come here, little one," Milliardo held his arms out and Relena ran into them, setting herself him his lap and crying in into his shoulder.  He let her cry herself out before he asked her to explain what exactly had happened.  

"_You're_ not forced to marry.  Only me, why…?" she asked, not reproachfully, but with the innocence of a sixteen year old child who didn't quite understand the ways of the world yet.  

"Relena, Duo's a good man and you're not going to marry him for two or three more years…but, it's not that, is it?"  Milliardo knew his sister well; she had confided in him since she was four years old and confessed to him that she had stolen a pen from their father's study.  

The Princess took a moment to relax before she spoke.  "It's…Heero."  And she wrapped her arms around her brother's neck, waiting for his reaction.

So his little sister was in love with the youngest Yuy boy.  He could see now why Relena was so devastated.  It was far better political strategy to pair the Princess with the oldest son of the Maxwell family, who boasted more land and economical prosperity than the Yuys.  Poor Relena had no say in the matter and though she might be reasonably happy with Duo, Milliardo had seen many a proud and noble woman ruined by arranged marriages.  They either ended heartbroken forever or in dangerous affairs.  The former was the result more often than not, for affairs only led to social disgrace.  It was true; most women lived out their lives never truly knowing happiness.  And now his sister would become one of them.  He wasn't going to try to make Relena see why this was best for the Kingdom or perhaps even for her in the long run; he only held her, stoking her hair until she fell asleep in his arms.    

*          *          *

Days passed and Lucrezia quickly settled into a comfortable routine.  The Dragon Market was busier than ever and Wufei and Sally took on another assistant to help.  He was a soft-spoken, easy going young man by the name of Quatre Winner.  

Endlessly polite and graceful, everyone took to him right away.  He even seemed to calm Wufei down.  The boy was absolutely delightful company, and Lucrezia suspected that there was something more than friendship going on between Quatre and his best friend and roommate, Trowa.  The two often looked at each other as a pair of lovers would.  Lucrezia found it somewhat unsettling, but tried to push any thoughts of Quatre's personal life out of her mind.  There were more important things to think about.  She still hadn't forgotten the promise for retribution she made to herself.  Already it seemed like forever ago since she had been alone.  

There had been so much to do that Lucrezia had barely been able to think about the Prince.  When she lay in bed that night, her thoughts finally wandered to the young royal.  He had said he would be coming back.  Had he meant it?  No, how could the second most important man in all Cinq have any time for a simple, albeit prosperous, merchant.  

Wufei had announced he was opening a second Dragon Market in the Royal Square.  To sell in the Royal Square…he and Sally were well on their way to becoming recognized and respected merchants.  Not to mention the fact that the Royal Square was practically at the Cinq Palace's front door…where the Prince lived.  

Lucrezia sincerely wished she had never met Milliardo.  It was doing nothing but sending her brain in frustrating circles.  He was doing nothing but having his fun with her, she just knew it.  Groaning, she turned onto her stomach, burying her head into her pillow, forcing him out of her head.  She had a life mission to carry out; she didn't have time for foolish fantasies.  

*          *          *

            King Peacecraft was in his study when his only son rapped quietly on the door.  "Good evening, Father, I was wondering if I might have a word with you?" 

Looking up from his paperwork, he nodded.  "Of course, son.  Please take a seat, I wanted to discuss with you the matter of trade with the—,"

"No, Father, I said _I_ needed a word with you," Milliardo interrupted quietly.  The King stopped short.  The boy was not being rude, he knew it must be something serious.  "You didn't tell me you've arranged for Relena's marriage."  

The King coughed.  "It was just settled last night, actually.  I hadn't gotten around to telling you yet, son.  If this is because she's too young, I realize.  They won't be married until she turns eighteen.  Now, the two get along well and Duo's a fine boy.  I see no problem with the match."  He eyed his son carefully.  "Do _you_ see a problem?" he asked intensely.

Milliardo, who had been staring at his hands, snapped his head up at his father's tone of voice.  This was something the old man was not going to negotiate on.  Not even close.  It was kind of a far-fetched idea to hope that the King would think about letting Relena be happy and marry Heero.  There was simply too much politics for that.  "Relena's in love with Heero Yuy," he said.

Laughter erupted from the King's belly.  "Look Milliardo, don't start.  I know you want to see your sister happy, but…you _know_.  I don't even have to explain it to you," he said adamantly.  "It's…that's just the way it is, you know that.  I wish Relena could be happy, too.  But…" He shrugged tiredly.  

"I know you're right, Father," he conceded.  "I understand that you have no choice, but I just thought I'd let you know…" He stood and began to walk out.  

"Just a moment, Milliardo," the King beckoned him back, eyeing him critically.  "There also the subject of _your_ marriage to worry about.  You can't delay much longer, though I know very well that you would put it off as long as you possibly could."  The two men laughed.  The King knew all too well about the Prince's disdain of the silly, vapid court ladies.  "I know how you feel, but there's always that _one_ girl that is the exception," he continued.  "Now your mother, _she_ was one hell of an exception.  Her father, the late Duke of Eurasia, almost had her throw into a convent.  She had a sharp wit and a brain about her.  _That_," he emphasized by pounding his desk with a large palm, "is what you have to find.  I know it's hard, but…such is the way of the Peacecrafts."  He chuckled ruefully.

The Prince was only sinking farther into his chair.  He hadn't given the matter an inkling of a thought.  "Father," he began.  "I still have time enough.  Unless you're planning to die on us this week, I've got time.  But now, I'll retire for the evening.  Rest assured, I have taken all your words seriously and will… think them over.  Good night."  His father only grunted good-naturedly as his only son left.  He _was_ right, for once.

*

            Marriage…Milliardo thought that the most disturbing aspect of ruling a kingdom.  How much of the world's nobility ended up happy in marriage?  There were times, too many times, that he wished himself an average citizen.  How he would love to live in one of the sprawling woodland villas that many of the minor lords owned.  Peace and quiet…what he wouldn't give for it.  He was only too aware of his birthright.  His curse.

~~~

Author's Notes/Comments/Rants:  Yay, it's Chapter 2!  I kept going…whoa…I'm the type to start something and never finish it…sad, no?  But if I get enough feedback for this, I'm _definitely_ going to keep going.  Anyway, so…I keep getting into these insane writing moods at like, 1am.  That's bad…I never get enough sleep…Oh, well…stay tuned for Chapter 3!


	3. Life's Not Fair

Waa!  K, I'm trying to get over major writer's block…ugh…Oh yeah, and ff.net keeps screwing up my formatting…sorry about that.  I checked the other two chapters and they were like, messed up.  I'm just a real freak about that stuff.

Disclaimer:  I don't own Gundam Wing.  Fairly obvious, no?  If I owned it, I'd be like, making this into an anime, complete with the original voice cast and Yoko Kanno music…ooh, that'd be cool…but since I _don't_ own it… *cough*

If Only To Be With You 

The Royal Square was breathtaking.  The images that she created in her mind were not even close in comparison with the real thing.  The morning sun shone brightly, making everything in sight sparkle.  Lucrezia could only stare at the stands and shops all set against the magnificent Palace towers.  She grasped Wufei's sleeve, fearing she might lose him in the crowd. 

"Wow, this is great, Wufei," she exclaimed as they officially opened up the second Dragon Market.  This one was twice the size of the original in the Country Place.  Five minutes later, the place was packed.  Quatre and Sally had stayed at the smaller store; Lucrezia considered herself loved when Wufei had chosen her over Quatre to help him open the new shop.  She was only slightly concerned about working with only Wufei all day.  Usually, Sally was there to calm his temper, but now Lucrezia could only pray that he kept his cool today.  As it was, he was in exceptionally high spirits at the turnout of clientele.  If she was surprised at the number of people who came, she was completely shocked with none other than Prince Milliardo stepped in.  

He was, as usual, dressed in simple clothes and the cloak that hid his long hair.  As crowded as it was, he didn't stay long, but managed to single-handedly buy more merchandise than they had sold the whole day.  

"I see your business is doing marvelously," he told Lucrezia.  She coldly informed him that she was not the proprietor.  He only laughed.  "I know, my dear.  However, I'd like you to know that I have spent enough money to have my exceedingly prudent mother yell at me later.  I owe it all to you," he said.

At last, a smile crept across her face.  He grinned victoriously and bowed slightly, as to not attract too much attention to himself.  He left Lucrezia staring after him, still smiling.

By evening, there was nothing Lucrezia or anyone else could do to dampen Wufei's mood.  So pleased was he that he even bought her dinner.  The day passed so quickly that Lucrezia was surprised when business began dying down.  Glancing outside, she noticed that the sun had set and the merchants were all closing up.  

"Lucrezia, I'll need you to attend to the last of the customers while I pack the stuff up," Wufei called out.  She was standing at the doorway, admiring the castle.  With the sun setting behind the castle, the place glowed a spectrum of pinks, reds, and yellows.  Quickly, she ducked back in, taking over for Wufei as he began shutting the place down.  

It was dark by the time Wufei finished locking the windows and doors.  There were few people still out this late, and those were the night people; they were the beggars and whores.  Lucrezia groaned as Wufei began walking briskly down the street, obviously not waiting for her.  Running to catch up with him, she cast one more glance back to see the streetlights being lit.  The loud, raucous rang in her ears long after she had left the Royal Square.  

*          *          *

            A week after the opening of the second Dragon Market, Wufei decided that Lucrezia and Quatre should run it alone.  Lucrezia had reluctantly agreed; there were two rooms upstairs for her and Quatre, who had been a little upset about being farther away from Trowa.  He had asked if Trowa could come along, not being able to even bear the thought of leaving his best friend behind.  It didn't matter either way to Wufei, of course, as long as the job got done, and as long as this Trowa didn't steal or scare off customers.  It was a little frightening being alone in a strange place at first.  After nightfall, the Royal Square was like a different place.  The scum of the earth gathered there, only to be shooed off by the Imperial Guards.  Why they continued, Lucrezia didn't know and didn't want to know.  

Quatre and Trowa slept soundly in the next room, but Lucrezia was wide-awake.  Sleep would not come to her tonight.  She threw her covers off, planting her bare feet on the cold wooden floor.  Wrapping a soft blanket around her body, Lucrezia quietly padded down the stairs to the shop.  The windows were locked shut with wooden planks and only tiny shreds of light filtered through, casting soft shadows across the room.  Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath, inhaling the scent of incense and the cinnamon sticks Sally was so fond of.  She opened her eyes and pretended she was a rich noblewoman, looking for whatever caught her fancy at the moment.  Hanging beside the door were red silk robes that were fashionable among the nobility lately.  Hurriedly peeking up the stairs, Lucrezia shed her sleeping clothes and slid into one of the robes.  The fabric felt absolutely delicious against her skin.  She smiled, wrapping her arms around herself.  Feeling indescribably content and perhaps a bit childish, she spun around the room, allowing herself a small laugh.  A noise on the stairs stopped her so abruptly she almost fell.  Righting herself, she saw Quatre on the steps, a smile creeping across his lips.

"Well, Lu, now we know what you're up to at night," he laughed.  Lucrezia had to join him.  Being that there was nowhere to sit in the shop (Wufei considered that being lazy), Quatre sat on the stairs, patting the spot next to him.  Lucrezia tottered over and tried to sit without falling into him; the spinning still had her dizzy.  "Why are we up so late, huh?" he asked, staring out at the sliver of the moon that shone through a crack in the window.  

"I thought you were sleeping," she said.  "I hope I didn't wake you when I came down."

Quatre chuckled.  "No, I was already up, partly because of Trowa's snoring."

"Um, Quatre?"

"Yeah?"

Lucrezia cleared her throat uncomfortably.  "Is there something with you and…" she trailed off, embarrassed.  She looked over at Quatre, who had a pensive expression on his face.

"I'd be lying if I said we were just best friends," he replied.  "There's more…it's like a bond, an understanding."  He tilted his head to the side, deep in thought.  "I suppose we love each other…but I don't know that we could act on it."  Sighing, he turned to Lucrezia.  "Trowa says that people aren't accepting enough, and that he couldn't stand to live in exile or hated by everyone.  I- I suppose I feel the same, but…"

"I'm sorry, Quatre.  I didn't mean to pry or anything," she said, seeing the boy begin to flush.

Smiling, he took her hand.  "No, Lu.  I trust you and tell you because I want to."

She grinned at the nickname.  "Thank you, I'm honored."  She leaned her head on his shoulder, the two of them watching what they could of the night sky.  She felt his breathing become very even and hoped he hadn't fallen asleep there on the staircase.  Tilting her head up, she saw him still watching the sky, with tears in his eyes.  He caught her gaze.

"No, I'm still awake," he said, though he spoke through a yawn.  

Lucrezia smiled sleepily.  "Well, I think that I'm ready to turn in, but I don't want to leave you here alone."  She stood and stretched.  Quatre stood as well and together they headed up the stairs.  

"Good night, Lu," Quatre whispered before entering his room.  Trowa's snores were fairly audible.

"Night, Quatre," she answered, smiling.  

Only when she was back in her room, under her covers, and ready to drift off did she remember that she was still wearing the red robe.  Too tired to head back downstairs, she sat up and shrugged the garment off her shoulders.  She haphazardly tossed it onto a chair and lay back down.  She didn't often sleep nude, but now she felt she couldn't keep her eyes open.  She made a mental not to herself to pick up her nightgown off the shop floor before opening.  She knew Quatre would never tell Wufei about what she did, so she went to sleep in peace.  

*          *          *

            The engagement was official.  In seven months' time, the Crown Prince of the Cinq Kingdom would wed Princess Anna Une, the daughter of the King of Luxembourg.  Neither party was ecstatic on the matter.  The Cinq King had ultimately left the choosing to his son and had to admit that he had done a good job.  The Princess was an excellent scholar and fencer.  She had a brilliant analytical mind, her father's generals were all sorry she hadn't been a boy.  Maybe not so sorry; the Princess also possessed an earthly, mysterious beauty.  Her tanned skin glowed and her green eyes sparkled when she smiled, which, unfortunately, was not often.  She had resigned herself to her fate, but hated and cursed it every chance she got.  Perhaps that was why Milliardo had chosen her.  The Princess herself was not averse to the marriage; it was better than many of her previous offers.  In terms of political strategy, this was an ideal pairing.  Both nations were strong economically and militarily.  In regards to personality, the two had met on several occasions and got along well.  Though, at those times, neither thought they'd ever be getting married to each other.  No matter, it was all said, done, and officially documented.  

Milliardo felt as if he had just signed his own execution papers.  He went through the reception as if he were already a dead man.  He tried reasoning that it was better than some of the _other_ airheads he could have had…Princess Anna was a fine choice, or so everyone said.  Queen Katarina had wept throughout the whole official engagement speech.  It was typical of her to be so overdramatic, but today it grated Milliardo's nerves more than ever.  Relena sat in an armchair sulking, only slightly cheered by the fact that Anna's younger sister Isabelle, would soon be her sister in law.  The two girls known each other since birth and were very close.  King Ethan remained somber, probably because he had been in the same position many years ago. 

The reception went as well as could be expected, what with a hysterical queen, brooding princess, and indifferent betrothed.  To Anna, it seemed rather ridiculous.  She figured she might as well get more comfortable with her soon to be husband.  She would miss her home, but Cinq had much potential for her, full of forests, rivers, and prosperous cities. 

"Milliardo, you _will_ take me on a tour of sorts of all the interesting places here, right?" she inquired as the pair stood out on the Grand Hall balcony.  It was much too cold to be out there, but Milliardo needed to clear his head by means of odd self-torture.  Anna was accustomed to such climate and didn't really mind.  She was also wearing a long sleeved dress with a high collar. 

"Of course, Anna," he said, smiling as he looked out toward the river.  "I'm sure you'll find yourself never wanting here.  There's far too much to do.  I highly recommend horseback riding in the forest.  Those woods have a peace to them…" he drifted off.  Why did his mind keep going back to Lucrezia…he didn't even know her last name.  That moonlit night still stuck in his head more than he wanted it to.  She and her business partners had opened up another of their shops in the Royal Square.  He had passed by often, in his commoner's clothing, only to stand in the doorway and watch.  It was unnerving the way he couldn't bring himself to step inside.  

He didn't like what she was doing to him.  On more than one occasion, he had found himself riding toward that spot at the river, hoping she'd be there.  Damn, he shouldn't be thinking such things.  Becoming so involved with a commoner was dangerous.  The people loved nothing more than a good scandal.  And what better than the engaged Prince to be caught out with some merchant girl…

"Milliardo?  Are you okay?" Anna's voice reached his brain, snapping him quickly from his thoughts.  

He turned to her, trying to play off his preoccupation.  "Sorry, just thinking about the river.  It's really beautiful at night," he said, wishing the words back into his mouth the moment they left.  Anna looked at him quizzically before sighing.

"Well, I hope you're right," she said.  With that, she excused herself and went back inside, joining her father and King Ethan.  

Grumbling, Milliardo rested his elbows on the railing and continued watching the sunset.  

*

            The hallway was dark and cold.  Relena was shivering standing there, but refused to move.  Heero said he was coming and come he would.  She heard footsteps and breathed a sigh of relief when she saw the deep blue eyes and disheveled brown hair.  She ran to him, throwing her arms around his neck, showering his face with kisses.  

"Oh, Heero, why didn't you come sooner?" she asked, resting her head against his chest.  He took her hands in his, groaning.

"Relena, you know I have to show my face out there.  You are expected to retire after a while.  _I_, on the other hand, have to at least pretend that I care whether or not taxes go up in Cinq.  Count yourself lucky."  He smiled and kissed her, encircling his arms around her.  

She pushed away from him after a moment, anger in her eyes.  "How hateful to have to meet like this.  It isn't fair, Heero!" she cried.  She didn't miss the tortured look in his eyes, but she had to say it, though she knew he could do nothing on the matter.  "I'm sorry, love.  I know it hurts you," she whispered through her tears.  

She sought comfort in his arms and they held each other for a time, not caring anymore what was expected of them.  All that mattered for them in that moment in time was each other.  "Let's leave Cinq, Relena," Heero murmured.

Relena had to stifle a laugh at his suggestion.  "Where to, Heero?  How?"  She had already considered running away many times.  It just wasn't logical.  They could leave, but they'd be pursued all their lives.  Neither knew a practical skill, much less survival outside a castle full of servants, cooks, and butlers.

"It doesn't matter, 'Lena," he said fervently.  "As long as we're together, we'll make it work."  He let her go abruptly, raking his fingers through his already rumpled hair in frustration.  "I can't stomach the thought of you marrying Duo, Relena.  As much as he's my best friend…I just—" He slammed a fist into his open palm, the force startling Relena.  

Running her fingers down his cheek, Relena smiled endearingly.  "Heero," she sighed.  "I love you."  She kissed him and no more words were spoken.  

*          *          *

            A week after his engagement to Anna had been celebrated Milliardo could not shake the longing to see Lucrezia.  He had gone out into the city dressed in ordinary clothing for years and had never been recognized.  Caution and common sense be damned, he had to see her.

That evening, Dragon Market was unusually quiet.  Upon entering, the first thing he noticed was the small blonde boy talking to Lucrezia.  He seemed too young for her, but the two appeared to be talking like friends and nothing more.  She recognized him immediately and he received a small smile instead of the unwelcoming frown of last time.

"Good evening, Lucrezia," he greeted warmly.  

"Hi," she replied uncertainly.  Quatre was raising an expectant eyebrow at her.  "Quatre, this is… um," she stopped short; hesitant about whether she should tell him who it was.  She looked helplessly at Milliardo, who only grinned enigmatically.

"Is he trustworthy?" he asked, eyeing a very confused Quatre. 

"Yes, of course he is," she responded.  Milliardo nodded his assent.

Lucrezia sighed heavily.  "Quatre, His Royal Highness, Milliardo Peacecraft," she said impassively, a little more condescendingly than she had intended.  

"No," said Quatre disbelievingly, laughing.  The look Lucrezia shot him sobered him quickly.  "Oh goodness, Your Highness."  He began to panic at his disrespect for the Prince.  

Lucrezia giggled.  "Calm down, Quatre.  And don't talk so loud.  We're not aiming for the whole city to know he's here.  Even though it's what the lout deserves," she laughed good-naturedly.  

Milliardo gave her a sly smile.  "I was just beginning to think that you were going to be nice."

His words were serious, despite his smile.  She looked away, frowning slightly.  She now readily admitted that she felt strongly for him, for by no means could she even bring herself to consider loving him.  Not only was there the royalty thing to consider, but now he was engaged to a princess.

"Would you care to take a walk with me?" he invited, extending his hand out to her.  

Quatre politely coughed.  "Well, we're not busy right now, Lu," he offered helpfully.  Scowling, Lucrezia took his hand, Quatre having made her decision for her; she'd have to yell at him later.  

Milliardo led her down the Square, toward the palace.  Lucrezia remained silent, waiting on him to speak first; he _was_ the one who had wanted to go for a damn stroll.  

"Um," he began.  "Well first," he said lightly.  "My sister almost killed her tree.  She left it in the care of her handmaiden, who is sadly not blessed with a green thumb.  I had to have the Head Gardener take a look at it."  He was trying to make conversation and failing.  Lucrezia nodded her head to indicate he had her attention, but she was expecting something else, most likely his reason her to be wandering the city streets with him.  "It's now on a windowsill in my study now.  Relena 'entrusted' it to me."  They continued into a shaded glen, the beginnings of the forest, and out of sight of the city goers.  "I probably should have realized that would happen…"

This was not working.  "Look," he turned and faced her, his hands on her shoulders.  "I know I've asked for you to forgive me for being a jerk, but you've deftly avoided answering me."  He placed a hand on his chest, clutching at his shirt, his demeanor more intense.  "I am asking you, _pleading_ with you to forget about how we first met.  Just pretend it never happened."

Lucrezia's eyes widened in disbelief.  She could hear the sincerity in his voice and see the need in his eyes.  Thank the stars they were in a relatively deserted clearing.  "Okay," she said.  Her voice trembled slightly as she continued.  "But why exactly do you care?"

The question was simple enough; she was wondering why the hell Milliardo Peacecraft should care so much of this matter.  But he did care, and he couldn't explain why without admitting something he continued to deny.  He _had_ to deny it.  

"Maybe…" He let go of her shoulders, straightening.  "Maybe it's because I'm not the conceited royal snob you think I am.  It could be that I actually care that you forgive me and think of me as a friend."

Was he serious?  Lucrezia's world was turning upside-down again.  "Alright, fine.  I forgive you."  She figured she might as well go with it.  It was almost sundown and she needed sleep.  She'd been going insomniac for the last week and she didn't know why.  Right now, though, her head was pounding and she _really_ didn't need the stress.

"You do?"

"You sound surprised.  I _said_ I forgive you, isn't that what you wanted?" she asked, exasperated.  

Milliardo laughed, landing a kiss on her forehead.  _That_ was a surprise.  Lucrezia gasped as he did it, suddenly feeling light-headed when he held her tightly in his arms.  "Thank you, Lucrezia.  You know, I don't know your last name.  You know mine, it's not fair that I don't know yours."

"Mmm, it's Hayden," she murmured, ignoring the fact that it wasn't really her last name anymore since she had no family.  Oh well, there she was, as she had wanted to be since she met him, in his arms.  It felt so good; he was so warm and smelled faintly of pine.  

"Lucrezia Hayden…that's a lovely name."  His chin rested atop her head, his arms wrapped firmly around her.  He did not plan on letting go for a while.  He was enjoying this as much as he knew he would.  And though his brain might deny it, his heart knew that he was in love with her.  

Now he was screwed.  Royally screwed.

Breaking the embrace, he held her at arm's length.  She met his eyes, uncertainty lurking in the dark depths.  "Would you think it completely inappropriate if I kissed you?" Milliardo questioned, his voice a bare whisper.  

"…No," she replied shyly.  Oh, any worries she might have had about him fled the moment his lips met hers.  The kiss was wrong in a million different ways, but to the two, it didn't matter.  Milliardo slowly deepened the kiss, continuing until Lucrezia pushed away, breathless.  "Okay," she managed, winded more from shock than from the kiss.  "Maybe I should go back…" She backed away.

"Wait, Lucrezia," Milliardo grasped her wrist when she tried to leave.  He anticipated her fighting back.  Instead, she relented, rushing back into his arms.  "Look…" he said.  "I've never met anyone like you.  I don't know what it is that you do to me, but…it's driving me crazy."  He sighed in frustration.  "And I don't know what to do about it."  

The girl in his arms remained silent, not knowing what she could possibly say to that.  She let him hold her, feeling right in his embrace no matter how wrong it really was.  "I should be getting back.  Quatre's by himself…" she said, but making no move to leave him.  After a few more minutes, she reluctantly left the safety of his arms.  "I have to go, we can't do this."

Though loath to do so, Milliardo let her go, grazing her cheek with his palm.  "It isn't fair," he murmured.  

To that, she only smiled warmly.  "Life's not fair," she said.  "Good night."  And she left.

For a few more moments, Milliardo stood as he was, watching where she had been standing.  Yeah, life was definitely not fair.  He'd have to do something about that.

~~~

Author's Notes/Comments/Rants: Wow, I think that I have nothing to say right now.  Oh yeah, pardon the uh, pun… "Now he was screwed.  Royally screwed."  I just couldn't help myself…also, I realize Lucrezia's last name is not _really_ Hayden.  For narrative purposes, that's the way it is.  Just…keep reading.  Comments and constructive criticism always welcome and much appreciated!  


	4. Life's Wrath

By the way, the damned spell check gave me the wrong spelling for Luxembourg (chapter 3).  I was too lazy to look up whether it was correct or not, so…evil spell check, but my fault in the end for not verifying what it gave me.  Like I said, I'm a freak about spellings, so this is really bothering me.  Grr…

Disclaimer:  GW…not mine…

If Only To Be With You 

            Quatre had opted wisely to leave Lucrezia to herself when she came back on the verge of tears.  He didn't ask what had happened, and when she stormed through the store and straight upstairs, he let her.  He closed up by himself and then went to her room, knocking softly at her door.  "Lu," he called.  "Can I come in?"  No answer.  With a glum sigh, he turned and went to his room.  He hoped she didn't hate him for putting her in the position he did…more importantly, he hoped that the Prince hadn't done anything to hurt her.  

*          *          *

            With every day that passed, Lucrezia became more unlike the lively girl Quatre had met.  She carried out each day like a chore, monotonously and dispassionately.  Outwardly, she appeared much the same, but there were little things, like her laughter, that showed her unhappiness.  Quatre often caught her at the window, gazing at the palace with a painfully wistful look in her eyes.  

It had been a month since that day the Prince came, and he hadn't come back.  Quatre felt nothing but compassion for his friend.  He was pretty sure he knew what had happened.  Lu was in love with the Prince, who was either toying with her or using her to get back at someone else.  Poor girl, to have fallen for a prince.

Lucrezia was wrapping a gift purchase for a customer when a short, dour looking woman came in.  She strode right up to the counter, eyeing Quatre critically.  "Where's Lucrezia?" she demanded loudly.  Upon hearing her name, Lucrezia turned and immediately turned pale.  She hastily finished what she was doing and stalked to where Quatre and the woman stood.

"What are you doing here?" she questioned, obviously upset.  The woman narrowed her eyes disdainfully.  

"Is that how you greet your _mother_?  I see you haven't changed.  Still selfish and no good!"  The woman's voice was growing steadily louder.  

Lucrezia flushed with anger.  "Look, if you must speak with me, we'll do so in the back.  I'll not have you upsetting business."  The older woman only looked more enraged, but followed Lucrezia to the back storage room anyhow.  

Quatre glanced back uneasily before a young girl asked for assistance.  

*

            "Now, what do you want?" Lucrezia asked callously, her arms crossed over her chest.  

Her mother snorted.  "I should have known that this trip would be a waste.  Why would a wretch like you care that your father is dead?"  

Lucrezia's eyes hardened.  "Am I supposed to mourn for your husband, who never once treated me like a daughter?"

"Damn you!  I come all this way and you don't even care!  I knew it," she growled.

Lucrezia rolled her eyes.  "If you _knew_ that I wouldn't give a damn, the why did you come?  Go home, Mother."  

"You bitch!  I should have gotten rid of you when I had the chance, just like your moth –" she stopped short, the blood draining from her face.  

"What do you mean by that!" Lucrezia cried.  Her mother only remained impassively silent.  "Answer me!"

At seeing Lucrezia's composure crumble, her mother pursed her lips.  "It doesn't matter," she snapped.  "I came hoping that against all reason, you'd at least _care_!  I hope I never see you again, _Lucrezia_," she spat her name and whirled around.

"Wait, you can't just…" she broke off, sobbing.  The old woman turned around one last time.  

"Whatever happened doesn't matter; you're still nobody."  Smirking, she left.

Lucrezia was alone in the room.  Crying, she sat on the floor, bringing her knees up and wrapping her arms around her legs.  Why did she have to come back?  Just when she was starting to make a life for herself and build a new life…she had to come and destroy it.  The old hag still had power over Lucrezia.  And then there was the comment she had begun to say…Lucrezia's head spun when she remembered the hateful way in which she said it.  Gotten _rid_ of her?  Just like her…mother?  Was that what she had meant to say?  It didn't make any sense.  She shut her eyes tightly and shook her head violently.  Why was this happening!  Would she never be allowed to be happy?

Minutes passed and she all she could do was cry, painful sobs shaking her whole body.  So immersed in her misery was she, that the footsteps coming toward her went unnoticed.  Someone was gathering her in their arms, rubbing her back soothingly, and the familiar scent of pine was oddly calming.  She blindly wrapped her arms around Milliardo's neck as he picked her up gently.  At Quatre's insistence, he carried her to her room.  

"I thought you were never coming back," she mumbled into his chest, refusing to let go when he set her down on her bed.  He sat at the edge and continued holding her tightly.  After a moment, the tightness in her throat returned and more tears ran down her cheeks.

"Shh," he whispered.  "Don't cry, love."  

His tender words and deep voice calmed her right away.  "Why did you come?" she asked, her voice breaking.  He didn't answer her.  "Milliardo –"

He let her go abruptly.  She looked up at him, confused.  "Are you comfortable enough to talk?"  He was concerned she might lose her composure again if he started asking her what had happened.  When she nodded calmly, he continued, "Alright, tell me what happened."

Quietly, she told him the whole thing, holding tightly to his hands to keep from crying in frustration.  "How did you know to come?" she asked, looking into his eyes.  They were always unreadable, sometimes showing a hint of sadness or warmth, but never did they reveal his real emotions.  

He smiled.  "I don't know…I don't often wander the streets, too risky.  But…I just had to come here."  Frustrated at his inability to give her a proper explanation, he laughed awkwardly.  "Would you believe that I was just dying to see you?"

"No," she replied stubbornly, more to be contrary than because she actually believed it.  She wiped at her eyes with her blanket, feeling completely at ease in his presence.  He took the blanket out of her hands and, tilting her chin up, kissed her tenderly.  Hesitantly, she reached up and threaded her fingers through his hair, pulling him closer.  A knock at the door sent Lucrezia flying out of Milliardo's arms and under her covers.  "Who is it?" she asked, irritation plainly evident in her voice.  

The door opened and Trowa poked a head in.  "May I come in?"

"Of course, Trowa," she said, trying to take back the harshness of her earlier words.  Lucrezia glanced uneasily at Milliardo as he stood, brushing imaginary lint off his cloak nervously.  "Where are you going?"  Her voice held a note of fear; she didn't want him to leave her again.  

"It's getting late, Lucrezia, and…I should be getting back."  The agony in her eyes was almost his undoing.  She took his hand in hers and pulled him back.  

"Don't go, please?" she pleaded faintly, clutching at his hand tightly.

"I have to, Lucrezia."  He bent and kissed her swiftly before pulling his hand away and walking out the door.  

She stared after him, and caught Trowa's inquisitive glance.  He had an eyebrow raised, a corner of his mouth raised in an almost smile.  "I was coming up here to cheer you up, but I guess that's already been done."

Blushing furiously, Lucrezia cleared her throat and left her bed.  "It's not what you think. He's just –"

"He's Prince Milliardo Peacecraft," Trowa interrupted.  The boy was something of a self-taught scholar and was one of the few citizens granted access to the Royal Library.  No doubt he'd seen the Prince before.  "I won't ask what he was doing here or how you met.  But I do want to tell you to be careful, please.  If you two were ever caught, you'd be the one to blame for it."  Trowa's voice was always emotionless, but Lucrezia heard concern in his tone.  

"I know," she whispered, staring down at her hands.  Trowa went to her window overlooking the street and the shops.  He watched the Prince's retreating form.  There was something in the manner in which he carried himself that singled him out.  It wasn't really noticeable, unless one was looking for it, but it was still there.

Trowa frowned.  "He should be more cautious," he said flatly.  "There's always someone wanting royalty dead."  He turned back to Lucrezia, his expression softening.  "Promise me _you'll_ be careful?"

She attempted a weak smile.  "I promise, Trowa."

*          *          *

            As Milliardo entered the palace, the hallway guards regarded him with pity.  It was the same look they gave him when he was a little boy and was in trouble.  He tried to ignore the looks as he searched for Pagan.  Upon sighting the Prince, the old butler's eyes widened.  

"Your Highness, your mother is waiting for you in the parlor.  Did you forget that Princess Anna and her sister were expecting you to join them for tea this afternoon?  Where were you?" he questioned as he took Milliardo's cloak.  The old man had been close to Milliardo his whole life, and was one of the few people who could exert authority over the Prince. 

Milliardo went pale.  "Damn," he muttered under his breath.  "Mother'll throw a fit.  Thank you Pagan," he said, heading straight for the parlor.  He abhorred his mother's attempts to try to make him fall in love with Anna.  Remembering his earlier conversation with his father, he realized guiltily that the Queen was once in the same position as Anna, marrying a man she didn't know or love.  Since Anna and Isabelle had come to stay at the palace, Katarina had gone out of her way to make them feel at home.  Sometimes he wondered if the sisters didn't feel overwhelmed by the over attention.  Cautiously, he peeked in to survey the scene before making his entrance.  His mother sat in her usual cushioned high-back armchair, chatting with the Princesses Anna and Isabelle.  Anna looked politely interested while Isabelle appeared outright bored.  Running his fingers through his hair hastily, he cleared his throat and entered.  "Good evening Mother, ladies.  I apologize for not being here to receive you properly."  He leaned to kiss his mother's cheek and then settled into a chair beside Isabelle.  

The Queen managed a tight smile.  "Well, darling, I'm so glad you could join us.  What was it that kept you?" she asked, seemingly innocent.  The subtle stress in her voice guaranteed there'd be hell to pay later for not playing the perfect host he was expected to be.

"I was…helping a friend out," he replied vaguely.  It didn't really matter what he told her.  He could say the entire world was at the palace gates with their armies and she'd _still_ expect him to be on time.  The Queen rolled her eyes.  

"I must say, Milliardo, that I was very disappointed.  There are preparations to make.  Your wedding…oh, how time goes by so quickly.  I was just telling Anna that autumn is perfect for a wedding.  It's a bit too early for details, though.  I think, though, that it…" the Queen turned to her son, who was absently tracing the fabric of his chair's upholstery with hid finger.  "Dear, are you listening?" she asked sweetly, acutely embarrassed at her son's inattention.  

"Yes, Mother, I'm listening," he replied, somewhat carelessly.  Katarina's face went slightly red before she could compose herself.  

"Well," she said briskly.  "I should have realized that wedding details would bore you.  I'm sure your father has something for you to do."  That was his cue to get the hell out, _now_.  She would have to speak to her husband about this.  Such behavior from Milliardo was absolutely inexcusable.  It would be ridiculous to reprimand him in front of guests, his fiancée and her sister, no less.  

Anna watched with an impassive air as Milliardo sullenly excuse himself and left the room.  There was something troubling him; that much was obvious.  She was very good at reading people, but she found that she couldn't get anything other than vague impressions of his emotions.  She'd have to work on that.  For the moment, however, she had to act the part of the dainty princess.  The part that seemed much better suited to her sister, who was becoming more of the spoiled princess with every passing day.  The girl was too young to care for such matters at marriage, even though her best friend, Relena was already engaged, but it would do her well to listen in and learn to be 'proper', as that was unfortunately the destiny of a princess.   

*

            Milliardo honestly hadn't meant to upset his mother, but she had said it herself, wedding plans were woman things.  He was quite content to have to do nothing but show up the day of and get it over with.  His nuptials were the last thing on his mind.  It was anger that was racing through his mind, anger at a mother who would verbally abuse her daughter in such a way as Lucrezia's did.  He was still seething at that monster of a woman.  Whatever she had said had sent the girl into hysterics.  He was still unsure as to what possessed him to go see her when he did, but he was glad that he did.  It had been a month since the day he first kissed her and she forgave him.  He smiled ruefully.  Things had certainly progressed from that night he watched her bathe.  

His bedroom was too large and too warm tonight.  He lay in bed, intending to sleep.  Groaning, he got out of bed and stepped out onto his balcony.  It was freezing, as would be expected of a late winters night, but it was refreshing nonetheless.  The small balcony faced away from the city like most of the private rooms, giving instead a magnificent view of the mountainous forests.  Snaking through the trees glittered the river, winding south to meet with the ocean.  The moon shone brightly and from its position in the sky, Milliardo could see it was well past midnight.  He really should be going to sleep.  There were too many things to do and his father had gotten stricter about his son spending so much time in the forests and the city.  If the King had had everything his way, Milliardo would be out of the country most of the time, meeting every foreign leader, on a goodwill tour of the world.  

Sufficiently frozen, Milliardo rushed back into his bedroom.  He tried lying back down, but only succeeded in driving his thoughts back to Lucrezia.  And once again, he was up and pacing the floor.  He finally decided to just physically exhaust himself.  He had set up a metal bar in the doorframe to his closet when he was thirteen; the pull-ups he did there always released the pent up energy and stress he needed to occasionally set free.  

By the time his arms failed him and he slipped to the floor, his body was covered in sweat and he was gasping for breath.  He felt considerably better and after a quick shower, he could finally get some sleep.  He stripped off his shirt, tossing it carelessly to the floor.  The knock at the door stopped him from undressing farther.  

Frowning, Milliardo went to the door.  It was late; whoever was bothering him in the middle of the night had better have a good reason.  To his immense surprise and chagrin, the Princess Isabelle stood at the door, tightly wrapped in her dressing robe.  

"What the hell are you doing here?" Milliardo hissed, poking his head out the door to check for any guards.  Catching the young girl at the Prince's door in the middle of the night would naturally be his fault and he _really_ didn't want to have to explain anything.  He ushered her inside for the moment, against his better judgment.  "What are you doing here so late at night?" he asked again, calmer, but with more insistence.  

The girl pouted slightly.  "I just wanted to see you, Milliardo," she purred, placing her hands on his bare chest and looking up at him charmingly.  "You know, it really isn't fair that Anna's the older one…" 

This was _so_ not the time to have his fiancées little sister trying to seduce him.  Quickly, he removed her hands and led her back to the door.  "I don't know what you're thinking, Isabelle, but I suggest you go back to your room.  _Now_," he said, preparing to all but throw her out.  

She whirled around to face him, furious.  "Don't you think I'm pretty?" she cried.  Milliardo took a couple of steps back, raking his fingers through his hair in frustration. 

"Look, I don't want to have to drag you back," he said, opening the door for her.  "But if you don't go, I will."

Her eyes immediately filled with tears, narrowing spitefully.  "_Fine_ then!  You'll regret this, _Your Highness!_"  She ran down the hall before he could do anything.  

Shaking his head, Milliardo rubbed at his eyes tiredly.  That was completely unexpected and uncalled for.  Where did this little girl get off coming to his chambers in the middle of the night to try to be cute?  The way she had spat his name and threatened him was unsettling.  He never thought that sweet Princess Isabelle could be so forward.  The last time he had seen her, she was ten years old and the shining example of an adorable proper little girl.  

The matter of the wayward princess left his mind as he took his shower and finally crawled into bed; he was exhausted.

*          *          *

            "Really, Ethan, it's as if he was six years old again and having to get Pagan to chase him through the grounds.  Except we can't chase him out there," she finished, gesturing toward the city.  Upon finding her son missing _again_, she marched into her husband's study and demanded the King do something about it.  

"Katarina, how old is Milliardo?" Ethan asked her calmly.  

"He's twenty," she answered and in that instant realized why the King was so opposed to her idea for house arrest.  Reciting Milliardo's age aloud made her aware that she was trying to control a grown man.  And what grown man would let their mother control them?  "I'm sorry, I just can't help worrying.  Don't you worry, Ethan?"

The King smiled.  "All the time, love.  But you have to let go, he can take care of himself."  

Sighing, Katarina convinced herself that her husband was right.  He had learned hand-to-hand combat from the finest and had won the international fencing competition every year since he was fourteen.  "I just…keep thinking about what happened to King Antonio in Roma.  To come home and find his wife dead, daughter missing, and no one has a clue as to who did it."

"Let it go, Kit.  I know that you were close to Lina, but I think her death still upsets you too much.  You're liable to send the whole Imperial Guard after Milliardo now," he chuckled.

His wife shot him a disapproving glance.  "I will do no such thing.  I just mourn Lina and her daughter…poor little Lucy.  She's probably dead --"

"Come now, stop this."  Ethan stood and led his wife out the door.  "That happened almost twenty years ago.  Stop thinking about it."

But Katarina couldn't stop thinking about it.  She remembered how Roma had flourished twenty years ago.  Now, the city could barely support itself.  She couldn't imagine herself living if a tragedy like that happened to her.  Yes, she supposed she was overprotective and domineering, but she was also sure that Milliardo and Relena knew that she did it only out of love, no matter how impossible she might seem.  She only wished Milliardo would stay put. 

*          *          *

            "Does that conclude today's business?"  King Peacecraft was anxious to finish this Foreign Affairs council meeting and get a few rounds of archery in with his son.  The realization that the two rarely spent time together coupled with the Queen's worries about their son prompted the King to begin interacting more often with Milliardo.  Unfortunately, Foreign Minister Lawrence nodded, indicating he had more to say.  Groaning inwardly, Ethan waved his hand for the man to proceed.  They might be there all night now.

"Your Highness, there's also the matter of Roma.  King Antonio wants to arrange for trade talks.  The state of the country is deteriorating."  The man paused, waiting on the King's initial reaction.  

Ethan nodded thoughtfully.  Cinq and Roma had been allies for a long time, and Ethan and Antonio had been close friends since they were children.  Since the death of his wife, the Duke had politely declined all offers of military or financial aid for his country.  The place had started going to hell when he began receiving all kinds of little girls claiming to be his lost daughter.  The King had broken then, leaving the ruling of his country to crooked advisors and unscrupulous foreign dignitaries.  "What brought him around?" he asked.

"Actually, Sire, it's a matter of his daughter.  A woman came last week claiming to be a former handmaiden.  She proved herself by recalling many facts about Queen Lina that only someone close to her would know.  Then she… confessed to killing the Queen and the Princess.  The King was going to have her executed, but they found her in her cell the next day.  She had hung herself.  No one knows who she is or why she decided to confess, or even her name."

"And so the King woke up finally and saw the ruin his country had come to," Ethan concluded.  

"So it appears, Your Majesty."

Standing, the King ordered for talks to begin immediately with Roma and then he excused himself, his son was waiting.  

Ethan brewed over the problem of the King and his country until he reached the archery field, where Milliardo was waiting for him.  He put the matter aside and grabbed his bow and, smiling at the enthusiasm on Milliardo's face.  "What you say you let me win this time, son?" he joked.  Ethan was by no means an old man, but he could no longer compete with Milliardo, and continued his favorite hobby only for leisure.  

"I don't think so," Milliardo replied, grinning, getting into position.  He aimed and shot, hitting the bulls-eye.  As usual.   

*          *          *

It had been nearly impossible to sneak away from Anna.  But finally, Isabelle had, with the help of a particularly gullible stable boy.  A few soft, feminine giggles and a peck on the cheek later, Isabelle was on a horse and after Milliardo.  After listening to Queen Katarina complain endlessly about her son's outings into the real world, Isabelle just _had_ to see where he went to all the time.  She had to have her fun _some_how.  Who knew, she might end up with an interesting bit of information to hold over the Prince's head.  For once, she might have the upper hand over someone.  

No one could possibly understand what it was like having to live with an overbearing father, an idiot mother, and a bitch of a sister.  Growing up, Isabelle had always envied Relena's relationship with her brother, the carefree way they talked and laughed and the way Relena confided completely in him.  Anna was never like that.  As long as Isabelle could remember, Anna was consumed with becoming an intellectual.  She had a sneaking suspicion it was due to the numerous visits from the handsome Treize Khushrenada, who often visited Luxembourg, his home country.  Isabelle never cared to find out details, but after one visit, Treize never came back.  And that's when Anna changed.  She was always quiet and reserved, but then she became cold and unemotional.  In her zeal to impress Treize, as was Isabelle's assumption, she had lost her soul somewhere along the way.  But she succeeded in becoming brilliant, sharp, and heartless.

From what Isabelle already knew of the adult world of politics, it wouldn't do Anna much good to be able to speak intelligently.  She'd still ended up the wife of some foreign royal, married off for political purpose and not for love.  She knew that hurt her sister more than anything in the world, but no man, except a rare case like Prince Milliardo, appreciated a brain on a woman.  Isabelle snorted derisively.  Her father's council members had argued for years on whether they should allow Anna to sit in on council meetings.  Most concurred that the girl and a lot of sense and a lot more to say.  At the same time, she was a woman and that was enough to cancel out any sense she had, so her older sister was only allowed to be part of the council once.  And that had been to arrange documentation details for her marriage.  The girl knew already that the world was unfair and backward, but she also knew that one must play to the system.  Yes, she would play the part of the perfect little princess.  But she would also use her powers as a woman to get exactly what she wanted.  That hadn't quite worked with Milliardo the other night.  But she still had ways.   

Outside the gates, Isabelle had little trouble spotting Milliardo heading toward a riding trail that ran through the woods outside the palace.  She gave him ample time to get ahead, without losing sight of him.  From her distance, he wouldn't be able to hear her horse and if he turned, she'd just appear a shadow in the trees.  She grinned in delight.  Spying on the Cinq prince…She would be severely reprimanded if caught, but she decided that in this case, the benefits outweighed the risks.  Suppose she caught Milliardo doing something _illegal_.  She grinned maliciously, wondering what she'd ask for her silence…

*

            The horse flew through the field, his rider's long hair waving behind them.  Milliardo didn't often go wandering through the woods at night.  He had gotten tired of the pull-ups, the archery, and there was no one skillful enough to be a challenge to him in fencing, except Anna, who was already asleep.  He was restless and felt the need to fly.  The closest he could come was riding as fast as his horse would go.  He raced through the large fields just behind the palace and into the forests.  When the horse tired, they walked along the river.  Milliardo already knew where he was going.  He had been going to that spot since he was twelve.  A little bank canopied by huge trees made the perfect spot to reflect, sulk, or take a nap.  It was his sanctuary.  It was also where he had met Lucrezia.  

He stopped short when he saw someone already at his tree.  The figure sat with their knees draw up, gazing solemnly at the river.  He came a little closer and the person jumped, startled.  He smiled when he recognized Lucrezia.  "You stole my spot," he mused as he covered the distance between them and dismounted.  

Her eyes grew wide with surprise.  "What are you doing here?" she asked suspiciously, though she looked as if she were quite content for him to be there.  

"Hmm…well, this is my hideaway.  I come here often.  What are _you_ doing here?" he responded, taking a seat beside her.  

There was sadness in her voice as she spoke, "Just…enjoying the river."  He wondered if she realized that those were the same words he said to her when they first met.  

"I see," he murmured, turning to watch the moon shine off the water's surface.  The two sat in companionable silence for a long while, simply taking pleasure in the nature around them and each other.  Milliardo leaned against the tree and smiled as Lucrezia let her head rest on his shoulder.  

"It's peaceful here," she said quietly.  "I can see why you'd come here all the time."

It was so peaceful, in fact, that Milliardo suddenly felt sleepy.  He mumbled an agreement incoherently and yawned.  "It's a good place to think," he said, trying to shake off his fatigue.  

She asked him what he thought about when he came, wanting to hear more of his soft, deep voice.  He told her about imagining a life as anything but a prince, about traveling the world without an entourage, and about marrying someone he loved.  "I don't get a choice on such a matter," he noted quietly.  

"And what if you did?"  Her question took him by surprise, and he found himself not wanting to answer it.  Especially given his reply had he answered truthfully.

"I try not to think about it."  He settled for a vague, clumsy response, avoiding giving her a straight answer as well as subtly steering the conversation to something else.  "There's nothing I can do about it, anyhow," he mumbled as an afterthought.  Lucrezia sighed beside him and nothing more was said for a long time.

The loud crunch of several twigs cracking roused the two.  Milliardo was on his feet with his sword half drawn, staring into the dense wood.  All was still; it must have been some animal.  He sheathed his sword and looked over at Lucrezia, who was glancing uncertainly at him.  "Nothing," he reported, shrugging his shoulders.  He called for his horse and extended a hand to Lucrezia.  

"Will you let me take you home this time?" he asked affably.

The corners of her mouth turned up slightly as she tried not to smile.  She let him help her onto his horse, warning him that she had never ridden one before.  He solemnly promised not to let her fall and then took off at breakneck speed.  Lucrezia cried out and then, when had he slowed down, smacked his arm.  He only laughed at her.

*

            Groaning in frustration, Isabelle crawled out of that mangled mess of a wood.  Spying was not as easy as she thought it would be.  She had tried to slink behind a tree a few feet from where Milliardo sat with that woman, but hadn't watched carefully enough where she was going.  He would have seen her if she hadn't thrown herself behind a thick patch of shrubbery.  By the time they were gone, she was covered in vines, leaves, and dirt.  Vaguely, she wondered how she would explain her rumpled, dirty dress.  But that was the least of her concerns.  She would never have thought, in a million years, that she'd catch Milliardo with another woman, and a commoner at that.  She almost felt sorry for Anna, for her having to marry someone who was obviously two-timing her.  Unfaithful and he wasn't even married yet.  

            Oh, she was going to have fun with this one.

~~~

Author's Notes/Comments/Rants: Ack!  Okay…so yeah, I've been doing an insane amount of wallowing in self-pity… I just read Aerika S.'s Escaflowne fic The Secret Life of a Girl.  If you do Esca fics, I highly recommend it!!  Anyway, it was just _so_ good…


	5. Life Deals Its Cards

Okay, this chapter is going to be fairly short for a kind of transitive effect.  Sooo…yeah.

 Disclaimer:  Ooh, now I own a chibi Milliardo pin!  But not Gundam Wing.

If Only To Be With You 

            Milliardo was a lunge away from victory when Pagan called for him, his firm voice echoing through the large practice hall.  Taking full advantage of his distraction, Anna quickly moved to the side and thrust her rapier toward him, sticking him in the chest.

"I win," she said, stepping back.  Her face remained emotionless and she turned to face the butler, who had hurried to join them in the middle of the room.  Milliardo cringed; Pagan didn't look happy.  

"Your father wants to see you and Anna in his study immediately."

Anna raised her eyebrows in surprise.  The poor man looked as if he'd rushed the whole way from the King's study, which was clear on the other side of the palace.  Milliardo didn't question, instead dropping his sword and rushing out of the room.  Anna followed at a slower pace.  She entered the room to find the King seated at his desk with the Queen by his side.  Milliardo was seated across from the desk, looking incensed.  Next to Katarina, almost hidden behind her, was Isabelle.  Anna grimaced as Ethan beckoned her to sit.  The triumphant look on Isabelle's face was assurance that this was not going to be pleasant.  

The King clasped his hands together over his desk and sighed tiredly.  "Milliardo, where were you last night?"  Milliardo paled significantly and Anna turned to him with shock written all over her face.  

"I was in the woods," he said through clenched teeth.  He was glaring at Isabelle, who made it quite clear she was responsible for this interrogation.  

"Doing what?"  Ethan's tone was adamant.  He wanted the truth, and all of it.  

"I was talking with a friend."

"Uh huh," shot Isabelle from behind Katarina's skirt.

"You were spying on me?!" Milliardo shouted, half out of his seat in rage.  

"Sit down!" the King bellowed.  "I want to know exactly what you were doing with that woman."

"I told you, we were just talking," he managed to utter.  The only thing he wanted right now was to jump out of his seat and strangle the little wretch.

"Uh huh," repeated Isabelle.

"We didn't do anything!" Milliardo exclaimed.

"That's enough from both of you!"  The King slammed a fist down on his desk, causing Isabelle to jump.  He looked at his son resolutely.  "I am sorely disappointed.  Isabelle will be punished for sneaking out of the castle to follow you.  But I trusted you Milliardo, and you let me down.  I want to know her name, now."

"Why?" he demanded.  "She didn't do anything.  I was the one who sought her out."

The King went red with fury.  "What happens to her now is none of your concern, Milliardo.  Her name!"

"No."

The Queen gasped.  Anna bit her lower lip as she watched the King for his reaction.  She sighed with relief when his face returned to its normal shade of tan and he sighed.  "I need a word with my son alone, please."  At his words, Katarina escorted Anna and Isabelle out of the room, closing the door behind her.  "What the hell is wrong with you?" Ethan said, his voice deadly quiet.  

In his twenty years of life, Milliardo had never once had to stand up to his father.  He'd never had a reason to, and now he found himself struggling at having to argue with the King.  "I don't see why I have to tell you her name if she's completely innocent," he said calmly.  

            "I'm not going to argue with you, Milliardo," Ethan began.  "But you are not leaving the palace grounds at all without an official entourage.  Your mother wanted me to be harder on you about being gone so often, but I told her you could be trusted."  He paused a moment, leaning back in his chair as he collected his thoughts.  "I told her that house arrest was a little drastic.  I guess I was wrong.  But if that's the only thing that will keep you out of trouble, then so be it.  Good night, son."  

Milliardo left his fathers study and charged down the hall, intent of slamming Isabelle's head into the first available wall.  In his anger, he didn't hear the voice calling his name.  

"Hey, Milliardo!" the voice called out again before finally catching up with the Prince.  Duo fell in step with him, out of breath and panting.  "What, are you deaf now?" he asked.

"No, Duo.  But I'd rather be left alone right now."

Duo stopped.  He watched as Milliardo continued down the hall and then paused.  The Prince turned to face his friend and sighed.  "Come on, Duo, I need a favor from you."

"I see, so the boy is only good for doing His Highness favors, eh?" Duo chirped.  He wasn't really catching the mood, but Milliardo let him ramble until they reached the Prince's rooms.  "So, what exactly am I doing?" 

Milliardo went to his escritoire and began writing.  "You're going to be my delivery boy.  I've been… 'grounded', so I need you to deliver this letter.  I'd do it myself regardless of my punishment, but I have the distinct feeling that I'm not going to be given a minute of time to myself anymore."

Duo waited a few moments while Milliardo wrote before asking, "What exactly did you do to get so busted?"

"You'll know when you see her," he said, handing Duo the letter.  The younger boy's eyes widened.

"I see." 

"Thank you, Duo."

Once he was gone, Milliardo sank onto his bed, burying his head in his hands.  He knew it had to happen.  He'd have to say goodbye to Lucrezia eventually.  But he didn't know it would hurt so much.  

*          *          *

            Lord Duo Maxwell strolled down the main street of the Royal Square, looking for the shop Milliardo had described.  It was easy enough to spot, and Duo ducked in.  It was fairly busy inside, so he looked around a bit, noting objects of interest.  He saw why news of the establishment was spreading.  They had a wide array of foreign goods that would appeal to anyone.  

"Can I help you?" asked a kind voice from behind him.  Duo whirled to see a blonde boy around his own age.  

"Uh, yeah.  My name's Duo, I'm looking for Lucrezia Hayden?" Duo said, referring to the letter for the name.  The boy peered at the letter curiously.  "I'm supposed to hand deliver this to her," he finished.  

The boy smiled.  "Of course," he agreed.  He led Duo to the front of the store where a young woman was collecting money from a short little man.  "Lu, this gentleman, Duo, has something for you."  Lucrezia turned to face them and her eyes widened in surprise.  

"Hey, it's you!" Duo and Lucrezia exclaimed simultaneously.  Quatre looked from one to the other, confusion marring his dainty features.  

"You two know each other?" he asked.  

Lucrezia let out a little laugh.  "Well, kind of," she explained.  "I guess I was a little rude to him when we met."

Duo snorted affably.  "A _little_?  Well, then.  If you insist."  He certainly could see why Milliardo had fallen for her.  Aside from being beautiful, she had a melodious laugh and big, expressive deep violet eyes.  "So, you're what's got the Prince so preoccupied."  He thrust the letter toward her.  "Here, this is from him.  I don't know what it says, so I'll just wait 'till you're done with it.  I'm sure you'll want to shoot the messenger."

Suddenly afraid at what he had just implied, Lucrezia tore open the letter.  

_My Dearest Lucrezia,_

_            I'm sorry that I could not tell you all of this in person.  Unfortunately, I've gotten some sense knocked into me and I've realized that all I've been doing is setting us up for much unnecessary and undue pain.  You cannot possibly know how much I care for you and wish that I could see you again.  But life has different plans for us, and mine is to rule in my fathers place when bequeaths his crown to me. I truly hope that you find happiness and love, for you deserve it all.  Please believe me when I tell you that I wish, more than anything, to rid myself of my birthright if only to be with you.  _

            Before she realized what was happening, Duo was ushering her upstairs.  He sat her on her bed and knelt beside her.  "Are you okay?" 

She looked down at him.  "I…guess," she whispered.  She wasn't quite sure what she was feeling.  Maybe she was feeling nothing…but she didn't really think it was possible to feel nothing at all…

Duo didn't look convinced.  "I thought you were going to pass out.  You went completely white," he told her softly.  

"No, I'm sure I'm fine, Duo.  Thank you for…bringing me his message."  

"Look, I'm coming back tomorrow to make sure you're okay, got it?" he said insistently.  Her acknowledgement was barely audible.  

When Duo had gone, Lucrezia stared at the letter in her trembling hands once more.  Then she crumpled it up and flung it across the room.  She collapsed on her bed in tears, finally realizing that she wasn't feeling nothing, she was feeling the emptiness of love lost.  After a few minutes of crying freely, she made herself stop.  She looked over at the letter, changed her mind and got up to retrieve it.  The paper was crinkled even though she tried to smooth it out, but she still folded it neatly and stashed it in a hidden drawer in her night table.  Rolling her eyes at her sentimentality, Lucrezia went to her mirror, hoping she didn't look as pale as Duo had said.  She hastily straightened her hair out and gave her cheeks a couple of quick pinches.  Then she went back down to help Quatre.  The last thing she did before she headed down the stairs was force the image of her prince from her mind.

~~~

Author's Notes/Comments/Rants: Well, the Prince had to get caught sometime.  Find out what happens in the next chapter, coming to you after I finish cramming for Pysch.  I _really_ don't like that class (especially Freud, he scares me…) Comments and constructive criticism appreciated!


	6. Life Just Went And Messed With Everyone'...

By the way, Gaul was the name of the area of Europe now known as France, as well as parts of Belgium and Italy, in the days of the Roman Empire.  I'm playing with names of places, making my own map of Europe…just because I can.  ^_^ (AU = Alternate Universe…yeah…)

Disclaimer: Gundam Wing belongs to a bunch of companies that I'm too lazy to name.  

If Only To Be With You 

            Cinq in the springtime was often related to what the Garden of Eden must have been like at the beginning of creation.  Trees and plants were in full bloom and the sweet scent of nectar swirled enticingly through the breezy air.  It was the perfect setting for a wedding.  

Every day, more nobles and dignitaries from western and eastern Europe arrived for the grand event of the joining of the nations of Cinq and Luxembourg.  After the third day of the same monotonous routine of greeting and polite small talk, Milliardo was ready to throw world peace out the window and tell everyone what he really thought of them.  He had been able to bear it all with, surprisingly, the help of Anna.  He had figured she probably hated him, but instead, she became a pillar of support for him.  Their wedding was two weeks away and everyone was relieved that the two had come to some kind of understanding.  

This "understanding" stemmed from Anna's knowledge of Lucrezia as well as Milliardo's knowledge of Anna's feelings for Treize Khushrenada.  Both their love interests were unattainable for reasons other than their own marriage to each other.  Lucrezia was a commoner, and therefore out of the question.  Anna had confided to Milliardo that Treize knew nothing of her feelings for him, and that it was just as well, for the young duke was already struggling with various offers from nobles for him to wed their daughters.  What Anna didn't know, and what Milliardo wouldn't tell her, to spare her more pain, was that Khushrenada had actually asked Anna's father for permission to marry her.  Unfortunately, the King of Luxembourg preferred his daughter in the stable Cinq Kingdom, rather than the tumultuous land of Gaul, where Treize had already acquired sizable holdings and was named Duke by his uncle, the King of Gaul.  He had left his native land of Luxembourg to make his own way and had begun in the homeland of his mother.  The young man had done impressively well, but some of the older, more conservative men, like Anna's father, still hadn't deemed him worthy yet.  

Milliardo and Anna had become close through their acceptance of their lives as royalty, and as such, forced to sacrifice their happiness for the good of their nation.  In the six months that had passed since Anna had come to the castle, she had come to respect and care for Milliardo.  And in turn, Milliardo now felt reasonably comfortable with the fact he was going to marry this woman in two weeks.  He had painfully managed to push any feelings he had for Lucrezia out of his mind and now concentrated on his duties as Prince of Cinq.  His mother was proud.

In the ten-day countdown to the wedding ceremony, there were balls every night.  Endless mingling and dancing, especially for the bride and groom to be, meant they were the center of attention all the times.  Neither liked it.

King Ethan requested Milliardo be present at the foyer when King Antonio of Roma arrived.  This was to be his first appearance at a major social gathering since the death of his wife.  Ethan was overjoyed that his childhood friend should decide to come to the wedding of Cinq's only Prince.  

"Milliardo," whispered Anna, standing beside Milliardo in the receiving line at the foyer.  He inclined his head during a break in the line of people to listen to her.  "There's a woman at the door with the most ridiculous dress on.  She's greeting your father right now."

Milliardo looked up and saw the woman, bedecked in bright yellow lace and puffy bows.  He covered his mouth with the back of his hand to muffle a laugh.  Anna had better control and managed to conceal her mirth in a small smirk.  As the woman passed the two, Milliardo made an exaggerated show of bowing and placing a kiss of her outstretched hand.  The older woman giggled delightedly.  She moved on through the line and Milliardo and Anna broke into quiet laughter, trying to keep straight faces.  Milliardo found that Anna's sense of humor was not completely non-existent and had taken great pains to get her to display it more often.  He was rather glad at having succeeded.

"Milliardo," called Ethan, from the front of the hall.  The Prince hurried forward, grasping Anna by the wrist and taking her with him.  "I would like to present you the King of Roma, Antonio de Noin.  Antonio, my son, Milliardo Peacecraft."  

The King of Roma was a man who looked far too old for his age.  His once dark hair was streaked with gray and his soft brown eyes looked as if they'd seen everything there was to see and found worth in none of it.  "I remember you last as a tiny little boy barely learnt to walk," Antonio mused pensively.  There was something in his sad smile that struck Milliardo as familiar.  He had been to young to remember meeting the King, but…why did he look so familiar?

*          *          *

Later in the evening, when they could escape and no one would care, Milliardo went for a scroll through the grounds with Anna, the crisp spring air immensely invigorating.  

"Are you still angry with Isabelle?" she questioned to break the silence between them.  They often walked in silence, but Anna needed to know if her soon to be husband was still intent on hating her little sister.  The girl had been sent back home, despite much protesting and begging.  Anna imagined that she was under very severe punishment for sneaking out and spying.  She had been furious with the girl herself, not only because she was spying on Milliardo, but also because had she robbed him of one of the very few things that had made him happy.  Granted it was illicit what he had been doing, but she could sympathize why he would do it.  He loved that girl.  Isabelle's actions had been nasty, but Anna hoped that Milliardo would forgive her eventually.  

He let out a long breath before answering, "Yes, I am.  And I'm glad she's gone…But I think that, in time, I could forgive her," he added when he caught her disappointed expression.  "But lets not talk about her," he finished softly.  

"You're right," she replied.  

"I still can't help thinking I've seen King Antonio before," Milliardo continued thoughtfully.  "He looked so familiar…"

Anna shrugged as they walked on toward the stables.  "I really do doubt that, Milliardo.  The man hasn't been seen in public for almost twenty years.  Everyone's talking about him being here tonight.  In fact, the situation in Roma has increased considerably since he allowed aid from Cinq."

Milliardo nodded in agreement, still mulling over the case of déjà vu.  

*          *          *

"Good afternoon, Lord Duo," Quatre greeted.  

Duo rolled his eyes exasperatedly.  "Jeez, Quatre, I told you to call me _Duo_.  I'm just a lord when I want something from the rich old geezers in the castle, got it?"

Quatre chuckled.  "Of course, Duo.  Lucrezia's upstairs, by the way.  I got Trowa to help me today so she could take the day off.  She deserves a break," he added.

"Gotcha, Q," Duo trailed off as he bounded upstairs.  Though the door to her room was open, Duo tapped lightly before entering.  Lucrezia turned from the window where she stood, greeting Duo with a smile.  He entered and plopped himself on her bed.  "What do you say to horseback riding?  My treat," he offered.  "I borrowed a couple of horses from the stables, but we have to get them back before sunset, or else the stable boy will have my head.  Up for it?"

Lucrezia joined him on the bed, staring at the ceiling.  "Sure, why not," she said.  "But if I fall again…" she trailed off threateningly.  The last time they had gone riding, Duo had said or done something, they still weren't quite sure what, that had caused the horse to rear up, throwing Lucrezia off.  She'd escaped with only a couple of bruises to her body as well as her pride and had made Duo chase after the horse when it had run off.  

"Fine, I promise I won't do anything to upset the horse," he swore.  "Besides, I got you one of the really tame horses this time."

"Okay," she agreed warily.

After meeting properly, Duo and Lucrezia had become fast friends.  He had the freedom to come and go through the city as he pleased.  He often came with news of Milliardo that he could never bring himself to tell her.  It was better for her that he didn't tell her anything about the upcoming wedding.  She had been in such a good mood lately that he didn't want to risk having her it plummet.  He had really come to care for her, he realized.  Not that he minded.  She was wonderful company and there were times when even he couldn't keep up with her.   

Her riding skills had improved considerably.  Duo was amazed at how fast she learned.  He trailed behind her as she flew down the riding trails in the woods.  She was heading toward where they always ended up, Milliardo's little think-spot by the river.  It _was_ really the perfect place to brood.  And a lot of brooding they did, though Lucrezia was less than willing to do so.  And because Duo was more of the listener, he found that they spent more and more time in silence.  There had been times when Lucrezia had tried to pry his problems out of him, but she was rarely successful.  He had almost led her to believe that he had no personal problems.  In a way, she was right in that he had led a happy, stable life.  But there was one problem that caused him the most pain, though he wouldn't admit it to anyone.  

Lucrezia jumped off her horse and fell to the soft grass.  "Oh, that was great, Duo," she sighed.  "Lets do that more often.  Providing, of course, that you can manage to weasel your way into getting a couple of horses."  There was a challenging gleam in her eye as she spoke.  It died upon note of his contemplative gaze and sad smile.  "What's wrong?" she asked.  Duo without a grin on his face was practically unheard of.  He shrugged off her question and sat beside her.  

"It's not a big deal," he said pensively.  She sat up for a moment, studying him.  Then she turned to face west, staring up at the sky.  The sun was beginning to set, and now she found that she could look upon the sunset and smile.  No longer did she frown at the dusk.  Deep inside, she felt her hatred for life dying, and she found that she didn't really mind it.  

"Why can't you just say that you don't want to marry her?" Lucrezia said suddenly.  Duo looked down at her, surprise in his eyes. 

"How did you know?"

            She shrugged noncommittally.  "You never like to talk about it.  You've been betrothed to your best friend's love interest.  You can't really get more tragic than that.  But can't you both just tell your parents that you don't want to marry each other?  Is your family really that much more wealthy than the Yuys?"  

"It's complicated," Duo replied.  "More complicated than I care to relate.  Relena and I have no say in the matter.  We're expected to do whatever is 'best for Cinq', regardless of what is best for _us_.  King Peacecraft and Heero's father don't exactly get along.  The whole wealth thing is just a convenient excuse.  I…I don't know what to do.  The three of us have spent endless hours conspiring to find a way to stop this.  We have about two years to do it…but old man Peacecraft won't even consider letting his daughter marry a Yuy."

Lucrezia had never heard Duo sound so bitter.  She remembered Milliardo telling her something of the same thing.  Except that he saw it more from his father's view.  But even he didn't know why the King didn't like Duke Yuy.  Not sure what to say on a matter she had little knowledge of, Lucrezia remained silent.  Duo turned the subject to the latest court gossip, deftly avoiding any talk of the huge wedding plans that were going on all over the palace.  It seemed that Lucrezia was letting him steer her thoughts away from it, though it was clear by the look on her face she was thinking about it.  But Duo refused to give up and launched into the current scandal involving a palace guard and a kitchen maid.  

"And then Alex sprouted wings and flew away with the girl," Duo finished.  

"Really."

"Yeah, really.  He really did sprout wings, Lu."

"Huh?"  Her brows knitted in confusion.  "Did you just say he flew away?"

Duo shook his head despairingly.  "Glad to see you're paying attention there."

She raked her fingers through her hair, moaning.  "I'm sorry, Duo.  I really am."  She sat cross-legged, absently picking at the grass.  "That wedding's in exactly a week, huh?" 

            Duo cringed.  Apparently, he'd failed at getting her mind off the dreaded subject.  "Yeah," he said dryly.

To that, she said nothing.  She continued picking grass blades, assembling them in a little pile before her.  Duo decided to give up and lay back in the grass, watching as the pile of grass grew.  After a few minutes, he closed his eyes and began to doze off.  Six months and she was still pining for him.  Milliardo was doing the same thing, but he was getting married.  Duo felt bad for Lucrezia.  She had made no move to find someone else, only immersing herself in her work.  That was just as bad as moping.  It wasn't like Duo could blame her; he felt exactly the same way.  He didn't have someone like Heero had Relena.  He felt sometimes like they blamed him, though he knew that wasn't really true.  But he did always feel the odd man out.  

Duo barely heard the arrow whiz past until he felt a few strands of Lucrezia's dark hair fall into his face.  He shot straight up and looked over at her.  She was sitting perfectly still, her eyes wide with shock.  The arrow stuck out of a tree a few feet away.

"We gotta get the hell outta here," Duo breathed, grabbing Lucrezia by the arm and hauling her away.  Her feet began cooperating and she hurried alongside Duo.  "It came from the other side of the river.  Who the hell would go around shooting arrows?"  That didn't matter right then, the only thing that did was that more arrows were flying at them.  He shielded Lucrezia's body with his own, even thought he knew that he was likely the target.  But what kind of gentleman would he be if he let the lady get hurt?

They made a mad dash for the horses, but an arrow put one of them out of commission while the other disappeared terrified into the brush.  Duo cursed as he pushed Lucrezia behind a thick clump of trees and was about to follow, but not before one last arrow tore past the foliage and into his left shoulder.  He cried out in pain before falling into Lucrezia's arms.  She fell to the ground, trying to hold him still without touching his injured shoulder.  Gritting his teeth, he broke off half the length of the arrow, leaving the rest right where it was.  "This arrow was meant for you, Lu," he rasped out, gasping as he shifted in her arms.  She quickly brushed the thought out of her head as she peered through the trees, trying to spot anything on the other side of the water.  She thought she saw a rustle near the shore, but she blinked and it was gone.  She turned back to the bleeding man in her arms, beginning to panic.  His tunic was quickly going from blue to deep purple in color.    

"Duo, we have to get out of here.  You're bleeding badly."  Lucrezia shrugged out of her overcoat and covered Duo with it.  The arrow had gone in deep and she hadn't the slightest idea what she should do.  A quick inspection told her that it hadn't hit anywhere vital, but he was still bleeding profusely.  An occasional arrow sped past them, but now the assailant was just shooting blindly.   They were safe, but Duo needed a doctor right away.  She grimaced in frustration.  A man with a knife she could handle easily enough, but someone hiding in the shadows with a bow and arrows?  

He moaned pitifully.  "The sun'll set in about a half hour.  If we move before then, we're dead."

"Duo, _you're_ dead if you don't get out of here now."  She sighed heavily when Duo rolled his eyes and tried to laugh reassuringly.  

"It'll take a little more than this to get rid of me.  You don't happen to have any enemies you'd like to tell me about, do you?"  She shook her head numbly.  Enemies?  She'd barely had any friends.  She knew little of her family and was quite sure her parents had had no enemies, or at least no one who had ever tried to shoot them down.  

Duo's face was gradually growing paler as the blood soaked through his clothing.   "Duo, I'm putting you on a horse and we're going.  You're not dying on me, okay?"  He was too weak to protest now and only nodded.

"Fine, but don't get me thrown off the horse.  That'd hurt," he trailed off.

Lucrezia ignored his wisecrack and tried to stand, pulling Duo up with her.  His head lolled around before resting against her shoulder, his braid hanging limply, covered with blood.  She whistled for the horse that was still alive, praying that it hadn't gone very far.  Ducking low, she headed to where she could hear the horse moving about.  The arrows were flying again as she heaved Duo onto the horse.  It was too dark now for clear aiming.  The shooter was just hoping to get lucky at this point.  She hopped on behind Duo and spurred the horse further into the forest.  She ignored the branches that whipped past her face and arms painfully.  Using her inner sense of direction, she headed west, where the forest was thickest.  Eventually, she knew she'd end up at the Royal Square and, hopefully, where she could a physician for Duo.

By now she knew her way around enough that she didn't need to use the trails.  All the riding trails were far too close to the river.  They continued farther until they reached a residential area of the city.  Lucrezia wasn't too familiar with the area, but she new she was far away from home.  She'd gone too far, way past the Royal Square.  So much for her inner sense of direction.  She groaned, her situation seemingly hopeless.  She knew Sally had medical training, but she'd never reach the Dragon Market in time.  Her heart was pounding as she wracked her brain trying to think of a place to take Duo, who was moaning fitfully in front of her.  Looking up to the heavens for help, she saw the palace out of the corner of her eye and almost kicked herself for not thinking of it earlier.  She turned the horse and sped toward it.  She was close enough to the west gates, and the royal physician was the best in Cinq.  Or course he was, she berated herself.  If he weren't, he wouldn't _be_ he royal physician.  Her mind continued the same frantic rambling as she got closer to the palace.

She rode up to the gates, out of breath and frightened for her friend.  "Please," she gasped out to the guards.  "He's hurt and needs attention right away."  The guard regarded her skeptically before eyeing Duo, squinting in the poor light of dusk.  His eyes widened when he recognized the lord and he opened the gates, rushing toward the doors to the palace.  He sent the call for the royal physician and then turned back to Lucrezia, who had gotten off the horse and was standing shakily beside it.  She must have appeared a sight, covered in blood, her hair disheveled and various nicks and cuts covering her arms and face.  

"We'll take it from here, you may be on your way."  His manner was curt and he signaled for the other guards to help get Duo inside.  The doctor came rushing out and took in the state of his patient.  

"_Now_ look what Lord Duo's gone and done to himself," the elderly man said sternly.  He shook his head impatiently and began giving orders to the guards to have him taken to the infirmary right away.

Lucrezia crossed her arms over her chest stiffly.  "I want to go inside with him."

The guard smirked.  "I don't think so, lady." His condescending attitude only furthered her resolve.

"Look, I need to know that he's going to be okay."  Then her determined expression died as the day's events caught up with her.  Her knees went weak and she made a grab for the horse to steady herself.  Her hands were shaking so badly that she lost her grip, falling to her knees.  She stayed where she was, not caring if the threw her in jail, or if they hauled her out into the streets even though the sun had set and it was completely dark out now.  She was too tired and too scared to move.  The guard's coldness disappeared and he gently helped her to her feet.  One look into her weary eyes and he regretted ever being brusque with her.  

He placed a steadying arm around her waist and walked her inside.  "I'll have someone tend to you as well," he told her.  He spotted one of the maids and had her call for the headwoman.  "Do you know Lord Duo?" he asked, trying to keep her from passing out from exhaustion by making her talk.  She only nodded weakly.  The guard led her down a series of halls until he came to the guest wing.  He opened to door to the first room and helped Lucrezia into the bed.  As he was lighting a lamp, a heavyset, matronly woman came in.  

"What is it, Damon?" she said jadedly.  She spotted Lucrezia and frowned worriedly.  "Who is this poor, young thing?  She's such a pretty girl, though she looks like she's been to hell and back."

Damon rubbed at the back of his neck tiredly.  "Um, I'm not quite sure either.  Lord Duo's been injured.  The doctor is with him now.  She brought him here.  She's pretty beat up.  So I called you."  

The woman shot him a chastising scowl and then went to where Lucrezia sat on the bed, gazing up at the two with a vacant stare.  "Honey, what's your name?" she said, in a tone that was the complete opposite of the one she had used to address Damon.  Lucrezia told the woman her name reluctantly and then added that she had come in to see Duo.  She yawned at the end, the woman's soft, mellifluous voice making her sleepy.  The lady smiled kindly.

"Lucrezia, is it?  My name is Anelle, but everyone around here calls me Nan.  Well dear, let's get you into a hot bath and into bed for the night.  We can see Lord Duo tomorrow."  At Lucrezia's nod, she stood and shooed Damon out of the room.  He mock protested but then disappeared when Nan glared daggers at him.  At his teasing, Lucrezia unwittingly raised an inquisitive eyebrow.  Nan, who was moving about, looking for towels and extra blankets, stopped and gave a short laugh.  "That boy is the most shameless rogue in all of Cinq.  But I raised him when his mother died twenty years ago."  She smiled fondly.  "He's a good lad, regardless of how brazen he may seem sometimes."

The bath was immensely relaxing and more than luxuriant for Lucrezia, who was used to cold, quick showers.  Afterward, she crawled into the huge four-poster canopy bed, feeling like a small child.  The soft cotton nightgown was like silk on her skin.  She felt like a princess as she nestled under the thick blankets.  It suddenly registered in her brain that she was in the Peacecraft's home, Milliardo's home.  But she closed her eyes and all thought of anything left her mind as sleep took over.  

*          *          *

Duo cracked an eye open cautiously, only to shut it again when he saw Nan standing over him.  

"Ah, Duo, you're awake."  She moved to the window and pulled the shades open, smiling as the sunlight streamed through.  Duo hissed dramatically and covered his eyes with his good arm.  

"Aw, Nan.  I'm close to dying and you won't let me sleep in a little?" he complained.  Nan snorted derisively and threw the covers off Duo.  

"You're nowhere near dying, boy.  Now, up with you.  You need a bath and I've still got to clean and change the bandages on your shoulder.  Up with you now."  Nan was the only non-royalty who could get away with talking like that to anyone.  Even the King had a considerable amount of respect for the woman.  She had been in the palace since Ethan was a young man and no one dared usurp her claim to headwoman.  She had not only earned it, but she had all the qualifications.  She was smart, quick-tempered, and extremely bossy.  

Nan was helping Duo back into bed after what he called torture when there was a knock at the door.  Damon peeked in after a moment, smiling.  "Just wanted to make sure Lord Duo was still alive."  He stepped in and shut the door behind him.  He settled into a chair and regarded Duo.  "So, who was the girl that brought you here?"

Duo shook his head in amazement.  "Don't tell me you've your sights set on her.  Don't you dare try anything, Damon."  The guard only laughed.

"Why?  You want her?"

"No.  I'm just afraid she'd kick your ass if you tried it."  Duo allowed himself a snicker at the mental image.  He didn't doubt that Lucrezia would give him a good knee in the gut or perhaps a little farther south.  He winced at the thought.  "Where is she?"

"In one of the guest rooms in the north wing.  She practically passed out last night after…what exactly were you doing to get an arrow in the shoulder?"

Duo thought for a moment, recalling all the events of the previous day.  "You know…I don't know.  I was with Lucrezia at the river and suddenly we're being shot at.  We're both still alive, so I imagine the person had some really bad aim."  He shrugged.  "I don't remember anything else after that.  Lu can tell you more, if she was able to bring me here."  Damon excused himself, saying he was going to bring her in.  Nan tried prying a more detailed explanation from Duo, who couldn't tell her anymore.  After a while, the door opened and the King himself walked in, his face grim.  

"How are you doing, Duo?" he asked, concerned.

"I'm doing good, Sire.  I just wish my shoulder didn't hurt so bad."

Ethan frowned.  "Duo, I need to know everything that happened.  If someone's targeting you, then that's an attack against Cinq.  It won't be tolerated and I'm going to act right away."

"Actually, it wasn't me they were after," he said, almost apologetically.  He told the story again, remembering to include the fact that the first arrow was aimed at Lucrezia and that he had been hit when he had shielded her with his body.  When he finished, the King's eyebrows furrowed together thoughtfully.  He frowned and looked at Duo gravely

"You must be mistaken, Duo.  You say she's just a young girl?  Why would anyone go to such lengths for just your average maid?"  Ethan shook his head.  "No, this is an assault against our country.  They're probably taking advantage of the fact that there's going to be a wedding in a few days.  We've had extra security here at the palace, but I admit that I've been lax about the border regions."  He sighed.  "I have to call a council meeting on this.  And just before Milliardo's wedding."

"But Your Highness, I'm telling you that they were after…"

The door opened and Damon entered with Lucrezia right behind him, clad in a simple gown of deep blue.  The King turned and upon spotting her, inhaled sharply.  He backed away, almost bumping into Nan.  The old woman only looked at her King confusedly before following his line of vision to the young girl who was watching them with bewilderment.  

The King paused a moment and then breathed, "Queen Lina?"

~~~

Author's Notes/Comments/Rants: I apologize for the delay.  I really got into "My Best Friends Wedding: GW Style!" and couldn't stop until it was finished.  Then I opened this back up and hit a huge brick wall.  So…sorry if its not up to par.  You just don't know how much trouble I've been having with this thing.  But we're almost done here!  More soon, real soon…promise.  


	7. Life Changes Things

Teehee, sorry about the huge cliffhanger in the last chapter.  I mean, I knew that it was a really intense moment to leave off in, but…I don't know.  I guess I was just feeling a little evil right then.  But here's another chapter!  And it's a long one!  Am I forgiven?  Please?  ^_^ This chapter is for Callisto Nicol, who had a cow and a half at the end of 6 ;) Thanks to all who have reviewed!  I'm sure I would have ditched this a _long_ time ago if not the great words of encouragement from everyone.  I really tried to get this out as soon as I could.  Unfortunately, I _do_ have to go to my classes.  If I were making any money off fanfic writing, I'd probably be like, 'hey, forget college'.  But uh…no.

Disclaimer:  Hmm…dang it.  I can't think of anything sufficiently smart aleck enough.  Oh, well.  Gundam Wing belongs to some people.  But not me.  

If Only To Be With You 

            It was well past midnight when Quatre finally shut the door to the Dragon Market.  When the sun began to set, he spent more time at the door watching for her than in the store.  By nightfall, he was outside pacing back and forth.  Only when Trowa jokingly threatened to lock him out did he come inside.  Not that Trowa didn't care that she hadn't returned, but as he told Quatre, there was only so much they could do.  And there was nothing they could do at night.  He was scared to death of what might have happened to Lucrezia, but he had to get some sleep.  Trowa had promised that he'd go out tomorrow and see what information he could gather from the Imperial Guards.  After reluctantly agreeing to his reasonable course of action, Quatre headed upstairs, checking Lucrezia's room before he went into his own, just in case.  It was empty.  He sighed sadly, closing the door quietly.  

He got into bed, praying silently that Lucrezia was okay.  She had been with Duo all day, horseback riding.  Somehow, that was not very reassuring.  Still, she had been with Duo, but the noble was not so irresponsible that he'd do anything dangerous.  He shifted uncomfortably under his blankets, wondering what could have happened to the two.  With each horrific scenario that crossed his mind, he turned over restlessly, not able to find comfort as long as his friend was missing.

"Quatre," Trowa mumbled from the other side of the room.  " Go to sleep."

"Sorry…Um, Trowa?"

"I promise I'll go tomorrow, Quatre.  Now go to sleep."

In the darkness, Quatre looked over at where Trowa lay and smiled.  "Okay."

*          *          *

            There was utter silence in the room for a few moments.  King Peacecraft had recovered from his shock and quickly schooled his features.

"Who are you?" he asked, his tone harsh.  

Lucrezia flinched at his words and began wringing her hands nervously, looking to Duo for help.  He nodded his head for her to answer, but she found that her mouth had gone completely dry.  She looked up at the older man, only to find herself looking into the same ice blue eyes that she saw so often in her dreams.  She paled when she realized that this was the King of Cinq that was demanded to know her name.

"Have you lost your voice, child?  I asked your name," the King said, trying to sound a little kinder.  He hadn't meant to sound angry with the girl.  He was still in disbelief over her resemblance to the dead Queen of Roma.  "Please," he continued.  "I didn't mean to sound cross."

At this, Lucrezia relaxed a little and cleared her throat.  "My name is Lucrezia Hayden."

The King's eyes narrowed thoughtfully.  "Lucrezia…" He looked at her, shaking his head.  "It couldn't be," he murmured, mostly to himself.  

"Come here, child."  He held his hand out for her to come to him.  Lucrezia did so cautiously.  She wasn't sure what she was expecting, but she was quite surprised when the King took her chin gently in his hand and tilted her head up, studying her closely.  "It just can't be…" If it were anyone else, she would have swatted their hand away and called them every rotten name she could think of.  This, however, was the King.  But she still didn't appreciate being examined as though she were going to be bought.  Releasing her, he asked, "Who are your parents, Lucrezia?"

"Garret and Dora Hayden, Highness," she answered.  The King's eyes widened in surprise at the title she added.

"You address me as Highness?  How did you know who I was?" he asked, a spark of curiosity in his blue eyes.

Lucrezia faltered.  "I…Um…" She glanced over at Duo, who was only watching her with amusement, plainly telling her she was on her own.  

He smiled compassionately.  "That's no matter.  Where are your parents from?"

"I beg your pardon?" she asked.  She wasn't expecting an interrogation.

The King took a deep breath and looked over at Damon.  "You're dismissed," he said, motioning for the guard to be on his way.  He obliged, though it was obvious he had wanted to stay.  Ethan took a seat in an armchair and looked up at Lucrezia.  "Take a seat, dear.  You too, Nan."  Neither did.  Then he turned to Duo, fixing him with a firm look.  "Duo, you're here by default."

"Now," he said, looking back at Lucrezia.  "You bear a striking resemblance to someone who's been twenty years missing.  If you are who I think you are, then…" he smiled ruefully.  "I am asking for your cooperation."

The last of Lucrezia's fear fled as she realized that the King could very well have ordered her to answer, but chose instead to ask.  "I don't know anything about my parents.  They…weren't exactly nurturing.  I know that my father was once a huntsman in Cinq and that my mother was from Roma."  The last words were barely out of her mouth when the King shot out of his chair and grasped Lucrezia by the arm.  She cried out softly in alarm.

"Is that all you know?" he asked.  She nodded stiffly.  "You say that your mother came from Roma?"  Another nod.  And then the King chuckled and turned to Nan.  "It would seem, Nan, that we have found the lost Princess of Roma."

"What?!" Duo yelped, shooting straight out of bed.  He fell back, clutching at his wounded shoulder.  

Nan could only stare at the King.  "Are you sure, Sire?"

Ethan nodded, smiling at Lucrezia's startled expression.  "She has to be.  I don't think you ever met Queen Lina or her daughter, Lucrezia.  Everyone called the baby Lucy for short.  She looks just like her mother.  It all makes sense…"

By now, Lucrezia's head was spinning.  She took a couple of steps back and sat at the edge of Duo's bed.  Groaning as he sat up, Duo scooted to where Lucrezia was holding her hand to her forehead.  "Hey, are you okay?" he asked.  He couldn't even begin to imagine what she was feeling right now, but she did look far too pale for his liking.  

Ethan knelt at her side, worry etched onto his face.  "Listen, I know this is a lot.  Are you going to be alright?"  

Lucrezia met his eyes, smiling timidly.  "I don't know whether to be happy or pinch myself awake."  

Duo reached out and pinched her arm.  He grinned when Lucrezia cried out in pain.  "Nope, this is real.  You're awake."

"This isn't real…" she whispered.  "This can't be…my parents, they weren't my real parents?"  The thought delighted her as much as it made her sick.  She was a princess…she was raised as a peasant…her mother…Roma…She hurriedly put the few pieces she had together and her eyes filled with tears.  They were cold, bitter tears.  Duo wrapped his good arm around her, letting her cry against his shoulder.  Her quiet tears quickly turned to painful sobs, and though she felt her lungs burning and her stomach twisting in knots, she couldn't stop.  It was a release of a life's worth of sorrow.  The King looked on uncomfortably before opening the door and pulling Nan out with him.  

"Highness, you're _certain_?" she repeated.

"For the love of the stars, Nan.  Of course I'm certain.  Listen, Antonio is in the castle right now.  He has to be told, but I just hope that he takes it well.  Please, Nan, fix the girl up.  And tell her she's to meet her father.  Gently though, we don't want her overwhelmed.  I'm going to talk to Antonio.  Keep her in her room, or with Duo, until I call for her."  Ethan sighed heavily.  "Everyone had given Lucy up for dead.  And now this."

Nan nodded understandingly.  "I'll see to it, Your Majesty."

"Thank you, Nan.  My god, what would I ever do without you?"  He smiled and left.

Nan stared after the King, thinking.  In all her years in the Cinq palace, and they were a good many years, she had never seen anything like this.  There was a first for everything, she supposed.  Upon entering Duo's room, she found Lucrezia cradled in Duo's arm, her eyes closed.  

"Is she sleeping?" Nan whispered.

"No," Lucrezia mumbled in reply.  She sat up and wiped at her face with the sleeve of her dress.  

"Dear, your father's in the palace.  He's come in for the Prince's wedding.  How'd you like to meet him?"  Lucrezia winced at the mention of Milliardo and Nan took that to mean she was not too keen on meeting the King of Roma, her father.  "Now darling, I know that this is certainly a lot for you, but think about it.  King Antonio had thought his daughter dead.  But she's very much alive.  This will be hard on him, as well.  But I'm sure you're just as strong as your mother was.  Everyone always said that she was such a strong, kind woman.  I'm sure you're just like that."  She smiled reassuringly.  

"Of course she is," Duo spoke up.  "Come on, Lu.  Do you want me to come?"

Lucrezia looked uncertainly from Nan to Duo and then back to Nan.  "No thanks, Duo.  I think I can do this on my own."  She remembered fondly all the times Quatre told her she was 'strong yet wonderfully kind'.  She gasped as she remembered Quatre.  "Oh no!  Poor Quatre and Trowa must be worried sick!  Nan, is there any way that I can get a message out to some friends of mine?  I never came home last night and …"

Standing, Nan nodded and opened the door.  "I'll get Damon to send it.  I'll find you some stationary."  Once she was gone, Duo settled back into bed, his shoulder throbbing dully.  Lucrezia shot off the bed and began pacing nervously.  She still didn't believe that any of this was really happening.  

"Lu, would you sit down?" Duo pleaded.  "You're making me dizzy."  Sighing, the girl fell into a chair.

"What if I'm not really…who they think I am?" she asked in a tiny voice.  

"Hey, King Peacecraft would never jump to any conclusions that huge unless he was absolutely sure.  So…how did you end up in Cinq?"

She shot him an irritated look.  "Like I know."  She had pretty much figured out how, but it was too terrible to think about.  She always knew that her mother was a bad person, but…it didn't matter anymore.  She pushed any thought of the woman she always believed to be her mother out of her mind.  If the King was right about who she was, that old woman would be the last thing on Lucrezia's mind.

*          *          *

Damon recognized the Dragon Market immediately.  It was a pretty nice place.  Inside, he looked for the blonde young man Lucrezia described, holding in his hand the note she had written.  He spotted the boy cleaning out some shelves and hastily cleared his throat to announce himself.  

The boy turned, surprised.  "Good afternoon," he said cheerfully despite the fact that he looked as if he hadn't slept in ages.  "How may I help you?"

"Uh, hi," Damon said uneasily.  "Are you Quatre?"  

The boy nodded.  "You're a palace guard," he noted.  His expression instantly turned to one of concern.  "Is it about Lucrezia?  Is she alright?"

Damon held out the letter.  "Yeah, she's fine.  But she's to stay in the palace for, uh…security reasons.  She told me to give this to you."

Taking care not to snatch the note away in his haste, Quatre took a deep breath and opened the thick stationary.  She very briefly told him that she was with Duo at the palace and that she would try to return home as soon as possible.  Sighing, Quatre folded the letter and looked up at Damon.  "Thank you for delivering this.  Do you know when Lucrezia will be coming home?"

"Actually, I don't.  Sorry," he added, catching Quatre's disappointed expression. "Well…have a nice day."

"Excuse me, sir," Quatre called out just before Damon left.

"Yeah?"

"Please tell her we miss her."

Damon smiled.  "Sure thing."

*          *          *

            That evening, there was to be a private meeting of father and daughter.  Antonio had insisted that Ethan and his wife be present.  They all agreed that it was best that this not be publicly announced until the two had met and become comfortable with each other.  Much to Ethan's relief, Antonio had taken the news quite well.  If Nan had been insistent about his certainty of Lucrezia's identity, then Antonio was downright unrelenting.  The last thing he wanted, or needed, was another false hope.  Ethan had then gone on to describe the girl, and stopped with Antonio had begun to get misty eyed.  Queen Katarina had gone to Lucrezia to personally oversee her preparation.  Her reaction to her was much like her husband's and Lucrezia found that she could only look on uncomfortably as the Queen composed herself.

"My, you look just like your mother," she marveled.  

Lucrezia bowed her head uneasily.  She really wished people would stop saying that.  It was rather unsettling, as this whole revelation still wasn't sinking in.  Somehow she didn't feel that she could accept it until the man that was supposedly her father affirmed it.  She wasn't quite sure what she would do then.  Was she to follow him back to Roma and live the life of a princess?  Could she do that?  There was Sally and Wufei to think about, and Quatre and Trowa.  There was the possibility, a more than likely one, that she couldn't muster the courage to begin all over again in a strange land with strange people.  The Queen sent her to the bath, and as Lucrezia sat and soaked, she found herself realizing more and more that there was no way she could leave Cinq and go to Roma as a princess.  She might as well remain dead to the King there.  What good could it possibly do anyone?  They'd already gone twenty years without their Princess Lucrezia.  

After the bath, Lucrezia spent close to two hours being dressed up by Nan and another palace girl as the Queen watched, nodding approvingly.  She asked Lucrezia all sorts of questions, being considerate enough to steer away from the many sensitive subjects surrounding her new situation.  Lucrezia found she liked the Queen.  She had a tendency to be a little too finicky, but she was more than kind to everyone.  

"Lucrezia, darling," she said after finishing the particularly grueling act of dressing.  "You're looking beautiful.  Come over to the mirror."  She led Lucrezia to a full-length mirror near the bathroom.  She gasped at her reflection.  She hardly recognized herself.  She marveled at the figure she never knew she had, or rather, never bothered to notice.  The velvet dress was the same deep violet as her eyes, trimmed at the neck and sleeves in fine black lace.  Around her neck was a silver chain on which hung a tear shaped amethyst.  Her hair had been straightened and styled so that it came almost to her shoulders.  Her mouth opened as if to speak, but she could find no words.  All she could do was stare at the princess in front of her.  

Katarina smiled at her and gave her a friendly hug.  "Surprised?"  She looked Lucrezia down one last time before going to the door.  "I'll be back soon."  She rushed out the door with a quick smile.  Lucrezia remained in front of the mirror as Nan circled her, making sure she wasn't missing anything.  

"I think you're all set, dear," Nan said.  "The dress looks lovely on you."

Lucrezia gave an attempt at a smile.  She had gone through this whole process much like a small child following her elders.  She had stayed mostly silent and gone along with what the adults told her to do.  She supposed she didn't have a choice.  "Thank you, Nan."

*          *          *

            In Ethan's study, Antonio was pacing, raking his hands through his hair.  "Ethan, my friend.  I hope, for all of our sakes, that you're right."  He stopped for a moment and looked at the Cinq king, who was sitting at his desk, just as nervous as Antonio.  Only he didn't feel the need to pace.  He was waiting for Katarina to return with the girl.  

"Antonio, I wouldn't do this to you unless I was certain."

"There are…so many questions that need to be answered," Antonio continued, as if Ethan hadn't spoken.  "How did she end up in Cinq?  Who was that woman who came to Roma and confessed?  When…"

The door clicked open and Katarina entered.  She held the door and a young girl stepped in hesitantly.  Antonio let out the breath he had been holding the moment he laid eyes on her.  When she looked up at him, he smiled warmly, tears in his eyes.  "Lucrezia…"

Katarina breathed a sigh of relief when Lucrezia returned the smile and uttered a tentative hello.  

Antonio hesitated, suddenly unsure of what to say.  "How have you been?"

"Um…I've been well."  It seemed to her the most awkward of situations.  

"Is this, then, your daughter?" Ethan asked when everyone had been seated.  The Roman King looked over at his best friend, nodding.  

"Yes, Ethan.  This is my daughter, Lucrezia."  Then he turned back to her, clasping his hands together tightly.  "My dear, would it be alright if I asked you some questions?"  

"Of course," she replied.  Even she couldn't deny her resemblance to him.  Though she was still very ill at ease sitting with the kings of two European nations, she recognized that this was just as hard on King Antonio.  He was making the best of it, and so should she.  

"What do you know of your parents?  Ethan told me that your mother was from Roma.  Do you know anything more about her or her family?"

"No, I'm sorry.  She never mentioned anything.  She was a very cold person.  So was my father.  They could barely stand each other, let alone me.  They spent most of their time at each other's throats, though my father did teach me how to survive in the woods."  She left out the fact that that training had come in handy. 

Antonio sighed.  "Well, that leaves us little to work with.  There was a woman that came to Roma months ago and confessed to killing you and your mother."  He paused for a moment to let the information register.  "She claimed she did it out of hatred for the Queen and the guards found her a day later, dead.  Where was your…mother," he spoke the word with some difficulty, but said it just the same.  It would be easier for her.  "For the last six months or so?"

Lucrezia went slightly pale at what the King was implying.  "Actually, I haven't seen her quite some time.  I left home almost a year ago.  She came to see me once to tell me her husband had died.  After that…" she shrugged.  "I'll tell you that she hated me and…she wasn't a very good person."

Katarina nodded thoughtfully and spoke up, "Well, it may not be official, but I believe that it was the Hayden woman who kidnapped Lucrezia and raised her here.  Now she's dead.  It appears that we may never know for certain."

"But that still doesn't explain who shot at her and Duo in the woods yesterday.  Duo claimed that the shooter was after Lucrezia, but I didn't believe him before.  It would make sense now, but who could it be?" Ethan said.  "Who else knows who she really is?  Or, what are the chances that it was just some lunatic who found the two of them perfect for some target practice?"

"That would certainly seem the easiest explanation, though perhaps not the correct one," said Katarina.  

"Lucrezia," he continued.  "In all that's been going on, no one's given any thought as to what's to become of you after all this.  I'm sure it would be difficult bordering on impossible to have you return to Roma as the princess.  Not so much because of the fact that you've been missing all this time, but because you've been living all this time as a commoner.  I apologize for not having asked what you thought of all of this.  I think we were all so happy that we'd found you that we didn't stop to think how you saw all this.  But…"

The knock at the door stopped Ethan from finishing.  "What is it?" he asked irritatedly.  He had specifically ordered that they were not to be disturbed.  The door creaked open.  

"I'm sorry Father, but Pagan told me to come straight here."

Lucrezia could barely stifle a gasp as King Peacecraft motioned for Milliardo, as well as Princess Anna, to come in.  Her back was to him, but she knew that it wouldn't be too long before she had to face him.  Maybe he wouldn't recognize her.  After all, she had barely recognized herself after Nan had finished with her.  

"Milliardo, this is the Princess of Roma.  She's been found after all these years.  Lucrezia, this is my son, Milliardo Peacecraft and Princess Anna Une of Luxembourg."

The Prince turned to face the girl sitting beside his mother and immediately froze when she looked up at him.  He managed to hide his shock well, though he was as equally surprised at the impassive look in her face.  It only took him a moment to recover and then he was reaching for her hand.  "That is wonderful news, Father.  It is certainly a pleasure to find you alive and well, Highness."  He knew now why King Antonio had seemed so familiar to him.  Anna then greeted Lucrezia, but not before she threw Milliardo an odd sideways glance.  Then Milliardo realized that she knew about Lucrezia, the merchant in the city.  It wasn't very difficult to put two and two together.  How many Lucrezias could there be in Cinq?

"As I was saying," Ethan said.  "What is it that you want, Lucrezia?"

Suddenly feeling considerably ill at ease, Lucrezia gave Milliardo a fleeting look before looking at King Peacecraft uncertainly.  "Actually, Highness…what I'd like for now is to go back home.  I don't mean to sound ungrateful, but I have friends who I'm sure are worried about me.  I just need to think this all over…" She felt Milliardo's gaze on her and looked down at her hands.  

"You can't leave the palace, dear," Katarina said softly.  "Not until we find out who tried to kill you."

Milliardo's eyes narrowed at that, but he remained silent; his mother's words were certainly news to him.  Anna was listening to the whole exchange with her arms crossed, her lips pressed together in a thin line.  She was not pleased.  Milliardo was certain she had figured out that this was the same woman he had confessed to being in love with.  

Lucrezia nodded reluctantly.  "I understand.  I'd like some time to think all this over, if that's okay."

"Of course it is.  I think it's best we retire for the night.  It's been a very long day," Ethan concluded.  "Katarina, would you mind taking Lucrezia back to her room?"

"Not at all," she replied.  She smiled at Lucrezia and stood.  The younger woman followed, taking care not to cast one last glance at Milliardo.  If she had, she would have seen pain in his blue eyes.  

"May I ask something of you, Highness?" Lucrezia asked as the she and the Queen went back to the north wing.  

"Anything, dear," the Queen said kindly.  

"I wish that everyone would stop treating me like a child."

Katarina looked a little surprised, but then smiled understandingly.  "I suppose we are being a little too fussy.  But try to understand our, especially Antonio's position.  I promise that while you're here, you'll have moderate freedom to do as you wish.  Remember, you are royalty."  She paused a moment and then laughed softly.  "Is that concept still hard for you to believe?"

Lucrezia smiled appreciatively.  "Very much so, Highness.  Right now it seems that I could never see myself as a princess."

"And later on?"

"Well," Lucrezia said thoughtfully after a moment.  "I don't know.  I'll have to see when the time comes."

The Queen nodded.  "You're taking all of this very well.  I am so sorry that you will never know your mother.  She was such a wonderful person," she said sadly.  When they reached Lucrezia's room, Katarina called to one of the guards on duty to fetch one of the palace maids.  "I'm going to have one of the maids close by just in case there's anything you need…" she trailed off at the look Lucrezia was giving her.  It was a mix of helplessness and amusement.  "Right," she said.  The girl didn't want to be treated like a child, she remembered.  "Very well.  There are guards stationed down the hall.  Sleep as late as you want, Nan will be by in the morning.  Good night, dear."

"Good night, Highness.  And thank you for all your kindness." 

Only when Lucrezia was finally alone could she finally start to put her thoughts in some semblance of order.  To start, she was a princess.  A _princess_…she let that thought linger for a bit, hoping it would sink in and make sense.  Wasn't that what she had wanted all along?  To be more than her mother?  She realized painfully that the whole time, she was already more than her mother.  Her 'mother' had been a thief, a murderer, and a liar.  Had her last undertaking been an attempt to rectify a life of sin?  Why hadn't Dora Hayden killed _her_, too?  Why had she run off to Cinq, married a huntsman turned drunkard, and raised Lucrezia as her own?  Not that she could call what the woman did 'raising', or that she had ever treated her as 'her own'.

She wandered back to the mirror in her room.  So she was long lost royalty.  Now what?  Shrugging her shoulders as if to answer herself, she reached up and took off the amethyst pendant, setting it down on a nearby table.  There was a life she had been missing out on all these years.  Did everyone really think she could just jump back into it after eighteen years?  King Peacecraft had spoken correctly when he had said it would be near impossible for her to return to Roma.  No, it _would_ be impossible.  She wasn't a princess in anything but birthright.  It seemed wrong of her to wish that she had never been found.  But she wished it just the same.  This discovery would only complicate the lives of everyone involved.  King Antonio wouldn't really have his daughter back.  She'd only be a stranger to him.  This was still all too unreal for her.  Maybe with some time, it'd settle a little better.  

Wondering if that was really what she wanted, Lucrezia changed into the nightgown folded at the foot of her bed and climbed into bed.

*          *          *

The next two days passed like a dream.  Lucrezia spent a lot of time with Antonio.  She got over her initial discomfort and found she enjoyed talking with him.  They mostly stayed away from the sensitive subject of how exactly she had ended up in Cinq with a former Roman handmaiden.  Occasionally, Lucrezia would ask about her mother.  She still found it difficult to think of the King and late Queen of Roma as her parents, but she had accepted it.  A formal announcement of her recovery was to be made on the evening of the third day of Lucrezia's stay at the palace.  The night of her official presentation, she was surprised that she didn't feel adverse to it.  That was, until Damon commented casually that it was perfect timing, what with the wedding of the crown prince.  Only Duo noticed Lucrezia wince at the remark.  

All the nobility present in Cinq for the wedding met news of the princess with much rejoicing.  The ball that night was to be doubly festive.  There was a big show made over her by King Peacecraft.  After her presentation to about every person present, Lucrezia felt the need to escape outside.  There were too many eyes on her.  She figured it was perfectly safe to take a stroll through the palace courtyards.  Unfortunately, she was stopped every few feet by some young noble asking for a dance.  She very politely refused every offer; her crash course in party etiquette from Duo hadn't included dancing.  He had tried to show her some steps, but since he was still bedridden, it hadn't quite worked.   The whole court would probably wonder why she hadn't accepted any dances, but she didn't care.  It was better that they wonder than laugh when she tripped on something.  She had decent coordination, but she was still way too self-conscious right then.     

After rejecting the fourth offer, this one by a young lord from somewhere in the south, Lucrezia was beginning to think that she'd never get out of there.  She probably should have realized she was pretty much the center of attention that night.  She finally had her hand at the handle to the exit door when she felt a hand on her arm.  She turned, about to give in and resign herself to stepping on this unfortunate noble's toes.  Instead, she found herself face to face with Prince Milliardo.  

"Would you mind if I accompanied you outside, Princess?" he said more loudly than necessary, obviously for the benefit of the people nearest them.  She flushed when he added her newfound rank.  

She looked around nervously at the whispering of a group of older women standing by some potted trees.  The ladies immediately quieted, casting knowing looks at one another.  

"Of course, Your Highness"

He frowned as he held the door for her.  "I wish that you wouldn't call me that," he murmured as she walked out.  "You never did before."

"I was never in the palace before, with about a few hundred pairs of eyes on us."  She crossed her arms as she began down the moonlit walkway.  This wasn't what he deserved and she knew it.  None of this was his fault.  Still, he was the easiest person to blame right then.

"I wanted to talk to you.  You must feel so out of place here," he observed.  He was absolutely right, but hearing him say it only unnerved her more.  Catching her mood, Milliardo sighed and walked alongside her.  "You look beautiful tonight."  He mentally kicked himself for being such a coward.  

Lucrezia didn't reply.  

"Why are you being like this?"  There was pain in his voice, Lucrezia noted sadly.  She hadn't meant to hurt him.  That was the last thing she wanted.  

"I'm sorry," she mumbled, her eyes downcast.  

Milliardo led her down a path that led into an immaculately tended garden.  She smiled inwardly at his thoughtfulness.  "I…" he began, suddenly unsure of himself.  There was so much that he wanted to tell her, to ask her.  Actually doing it…that was something he was having trouble with.  "How did all of this happen?" he said finally.  She looked up at him, slightly surprised.  "I mean, how…damn," he finished frustratedly.  

She laughed softly as he faltered over his words.  "I know what you mean.  To tell you the truth, I don't remember half of what happened.  It all passed like a blur, but I clearly remember the look on your father's face when he first saw me.  He thought I was…my mother.  And then," she said, waving her hand.  "More blur.  I don't think that I could ever get used to all of this."

"Miss the simple life?"

"Yeah, I guess."  All at once, any walls she had put between her and Milliardo fell away and she stopped, turning to face him.  "What's going to happen to me?" she asked of him.   He saw the tortured look in her eyes and had to fight the sudden urge to take her in his arms.  There had been a time he could do that, but that time had passed.  He could only stand there and watch her, in her stylish ivory colored silk dress, as she looked up at him, her violet eyes pleading with him.  He didn't know what to tell her.  Their fathers had wisely put the matter aside until at least after Milliardo's wedding.  He had almost laughed when he realized that his father had no clue that Princess Lucrezia and the woman he had snuck out to meet months ago were one in the same.  He shook his head slowly as tears filled her eyes, feeling every ounce of her pain as if it were his. 

She took a deep breath and continued walking, wrapping her arms around herself.  It was springtime, cold enough for there to be a chilly breeze in the air, but she was shivering more out of insecurity than the cold.  Milliardo's jacket went around her shoulders and she quietly thanked him.  She could feel his hesitation and understood it perfectly.  He couldn't pretend he wasn't a prince anymore.  They weren't out in the woods by the river or at the Dragon Market.  In addition to the guards stationed outside, there were partygoers that felt the need for fresh air as well.  There was very little privacy.

"King Antonio has made it perfectly clear that you are under no obligation to go to Roma," he offered.  "You're only to stay here until they find out who attacked you and Duo."  He paused a moment, wondering if he should ask her the details of what had happened the day she rushed Duo to the palace.  "Royal security has spent the last three days investigating.  They haven't found anything yet."

"What am I to do if I don't go back?" Lucrezia asked.  "I highly doubt that everyone will just let me go back to running Wufei's store for the rest of my life.  They've given me a choice in a situation where I really don't _have_ a choice."

Milliardo grimaced at the truth of her words.  King Peacecraft certainly wasn't going to allow her to continue to live in Cinq as a commoner.  An unwitting smile crossed his face.  If he wasn't marrying Anna in four days, he was more than certain that both their fathers would insist they marry each other.  It was absolutely laughable, though he didn't dare do so right then.  Lucrezia was in enough turmoil without having to add on the fact that they had been _that_ close to being encouraged to marry.  There were so many what ifs running through Milliardo's head, they were beginning to make him dizzy.  

"I never asked for this," she whispered quietly, her voice trembling slightly.

"Oh Lucrezia," Milliardo murmured, taking her in his arms, the rest of the world be damned.  

*

Anna watched from a distance as Milliardo escorted Princess Lucrezia outside.  There was no doubt in her mind that this was the Lucrezia that Milliardo had fallen in love with.  She found it more than ironic that the very man who had forbidden the prince from seeing her would be the one to introduce the two.  She felt sorry for the both of them.  For Lucrezia, who was suddenly thrust into a world she had only dreamed of.  And for Milliardo, who still loved this girl.  If he could do nothing about it when she was commoner, it was sad to know that he could do even less now that she was confirmed as a princess.  She had seen the second of shock upon seeing her, before he had composed himself enough to greet her.  After the little meeting, he had stormed out of the room, leaving her father staring after him a bit oddly.  She briefly wondered what would happen if Ethan discovered Milliardo and Lucrezia's past together.  

Milliardo had taken her discovery hard, closing himself off in a most irritating manner.  They usually shared breakfast together, but he hadn't shown up for the last two days.  If he didn't watch out, someone would begin to suspect.  His sudden change in attitude coinciding with the arrival of Lucrezia would set off some warning bells in the King's head.  Anna could only stand idly by for now.  She had a sinking feeling that Milliardo would begin to see her as the sole reason he couldn't now be with Lucrezia.  In a way she was, but it definitely wasn't _her_ fault.  This all was beginning to look like an older version of what was going on with Princess Relena and Lords Duo and Heero.  Both Peacecrafts were in love with one, betrothed to the other.  Anna silently wondered if she and Duo should come together as the castoffs in the Peacecraft love triangles.  Then she bitterly shook the thought out of her head.  Neither situation could be helped, and that was the end of that.  

Anna wandered through the ballroom, watching nothing in particular.  She took great care to avoid the gaggle of young girls surrounding many of the young, attractive nobles.  She snorted contemptuously when she saw that the biggest crowd was centered on Treize Khushrenada, who had just arrived from Gaul that evening.  It disappointed her to no end that, despite all of Treize's sophistication, he should choose to converse with those airheads.  She decided to head back to her room.  There was never any point to these balls for her.  Most of the other women shunned her, the young men were afraid of her, and the older men ignored her.  Usually she endured these things with Milliardo, but he was apparently occupied elsewhere.  

"Princess," a voice called out behind her.  She cringed when she recognized the voice.  She turned slowly to see Treize approaching her. 

"Good evening, Duke Khushrenada."

He smiled charmingly.  "I was hoping you would join me in a dance."

"Of course."

He led her out onto the dance floor, much to the envy of his fan club.  Inwardly, Anna was smirking triumphantly.  But her rational mind was too afraid of getting caught in her own odd love triangle.  She had calmly given Treize up when she had accepted Milliardo's proposal, and it wasn't helping that he was holding her a little closer than necessary.  

"It's been a while, hasn't it, Anna?"

"Yes it has.  You never returned to Luxembourg."  She managed to keep her face impassive as they whirled across the floor expertly.  

Treize only smiled knowingly.  "Well, there were some issues involved."

"Issues?"

There was a momentary pause.  "Your father never told you then," he mused quietly, almost to himself.  

A demanding eyebrow went up.  The music ended with a flourish and Anna parted immediately.  Treize bowed and graciously thanked Anna for the dance.  He caught her glare and gave a little chuckle.  "Let's just say that your father rejected a proposition of mine.  If you'll excuse me."  

He hurried off the dance floor, leaving a stunned Anna behind.  Realizing the implications of his statement, she started after him, but was stopped when King Peacecraft asked her to join him in the gavotte starting up.  She watched Treize leave the ballroom, wondering if he meant what she thought he had.  

~~~

Author's Notes/Comments/Rants/Apology:  Dude…halfway through this chapter I realized why the name Damon sounded so familiar.  I found it through babynames.com; it means 'constant, loyal' in Greek.  So I thought the name would fit him.  Then it hit me, Damon was the name of this insanely cool character from Lady Dante's The Lilac Princess (a kick ass 6x9 fic).  A million and a half apologies!  I didn't mean to like, bite off her character or anything.  It was complete coincidence!  Don't shoot me!


	8. Life Becomes Overwhelming

I hate Word 2000.  It's the biggest pain.  More specifically, I hate AutoFormat.  It pretends like you have no brain and so makes assumptions on what you're trying to do with your document.  And what do we all know about 'assumptions'?  Yeah.  So if weird stuff comes out underlined or the paragraphs come out weirdly indented (I've been having a lot of problems with that), or any other whack formatting problems, I apologize…even though it's not _my_ fault.  Darned Microsoft Word.  _It_ should be apologizing.  That whack paper clip 'assistant' should be apologizing on behalf of the moron that invented AutoFormat.  

Warning: I wrote this while battling through a huge creative brick wall.  So…it might be disappointing.  Just thought I'd let you know.  

Disclaimer: If Gundam Wing were mine, you'd be watching this on the big screen.  But Gundam Wing belongs to a bunch of rich old geezers in a galaxy far, far away… If Only To Be With You "Got it!"    

Relena jumped when Duo's voice resounded through the quiet room.  She exhaled sharply, glaring at Duo crossly from the divan where she sat reading a novel.  "Gods, Duo.  What was that for?"

Duo looked up the chessboard.  Across from him, Heero was watching him with a raised eyebrow.  "Duo, you _always_ lose to me.  Whatever idea you've got isn't going to work."

Duo gave him a sarcastic smile.  "Ha, ha.  Thanks for the encouragement, Heero.  But I wasn't talking about the game.  Do you ever talk with your father?" 

Heero stiffened.  "No, I don't.  We don't exactly get along.  That's why I live at the palace, remember?"

Duo smiled smugly.  "Well, I think it's about time we had a chat with ol' man Yuy."

"About what?" Heero said through clenched teeth.  Relena came over, dragging a chair next to Heero.  She took his hand gently and looked at Duo with worry in her eyes.  

"Duo, you're talking about our engagement, aren't you?"

He nodded.  "Not that I don't wanna marry you, Relena," he said playfully, giving her a wink.  "But I think that the solution to our problem is making best friends out of Heero's dad and Peacecraft.  We still have time.  The King hasn't announced the arrangement publicly yet."

Heero only frowned.  "It won't work.  Or else I would have done it already."

"Hey, don't get mad 'cause you didn't think of it first.  I think it could work.  Yuy's a reasonable guy, right?  What the hell was their fight about, anyway?"

"I don't know exactly, but I know it was over something stupid," Heero replied, beginning to soften up to the idea.  Then his stony glare returned.  "But it's not like he would go along with this just to see me happy.  On the contrary, I would think he'd like seeing me miserable."

Duo shot Heero a patronizing glare.  "Now what exactly was _your_ fight with your father about?"

His eyes narrowed.  "I don't remember," he bit out.  

"So," Relena interjected, seeing the conversation starting to get ugly.  "My father won't budge in regards to settling this feud thing with Heero's father.  What makes you think that Lord Yuy is going to do any different?"

At that, Duo grinned.  "It's all about the power of persuasion."

*          *          *

The palace was a madhouse when Lucrezia left her room, the whole place making preparations for the royal wedding taking place in two days.  She headed toward the kitchen, where Nan had promised her breakfast.  She felt too uncomfortable eating with the Royal Family, though Katarina had invited her more than once.  The Queen was kind enough to grant Lucrezia her request when the young woman declined.  But Lucrezia doubted that she'd be able to get away with not going to the wedding.  Unless she told everyone _why_ she didn't want to go.  And there was no way that was going to happen.  She considered feigning illness.  That was her only possibility.  That, or sit and watch the man she loved marry someone else.  

In the six months that had passed without Milliardo, Lucrezia was sure that she had finally gotten over him.  And perhaps she had, but seeing him again threw her heart back into the turmoil that she had thought she had escaped.  She went quickly down the halls, trying to ignore the excited tittering of the maids as they rushed around with fresh flower decorations.  It seemed as if ages had passed since she had been outside the palace walls.  She still felt so out of place in the castle, despite everyone's best efforts to make her feel at home.  Duo was a constant, managing to bring a smile to her face in spite of everything.  Outwardly, she would smile though inside, her stomach was always twisting in knots.  Duo's humor could only ease her discomfort temporarily, for at night, when she was alone, the pain in her heart would always return.  There was nothing she could do to make it go away, and so she accepted her misery.  But she wanted desperately to get away, back to her life without huge palaces, fancy dresses, and about-to-be-married princes.  

"Lucrezia dear, good morning."  Nan barely looked up as she moved about the large kitchen with an ease that came for many years of experience.  

"Good morning, Nan."

Nan paused for a moment to eye Lucrezia.  Her tone was distinctly melancholy, but she got the feeling that trying to discuss it wouldn't bring about much result.  The girl had a secretive air about her that Nan wasn't sure she liked.  "Dear," she said, leaving the matter alone.  "I've arranged for Lily to come by your room this afternoon to make you a dress for the wedding.  She and her assistants will have to work on it all today and tomorrow, but I felt that you needed a dress of your own for the occasion.  After that, we'll have to see about a wardrobe."  Lucrezia's response was a forced smile and thanks.  

Nan frowned at that and then resumed her chores without a word.  A couple of days ago, it seemed that she was doing well.  She was getting acquainted with her father and it appeared that she might be ready to go to Roma, maybe as soon as the end of the wedding celebration.  But after her first formal ball, she returned to her introverted manner, keeping mostly to herself.  Her refusal to answer clearly indicated this, and Nan was becoming more worried for the girl.  She wasn't going to force anything out of Lucrezia, and so she left the kitchen, hastily explaining that she much to attend to.

Lucrezia sat at the table, stirring at her cold cereal.  She hadn't had a bite of it, and didn't feel inclined to, either.  There was too much on her mind.  She had to get out.  She knew that it was close to impossible to sneak out of the palace, but she had spent the whole morning thinking of ways to get around the guards.  The servants had been in and out of the palace for the last few days, going to the Royal Square for anything they needed for the planning of the huge parties that would last about a week after the wedding ceremony.  The wedding…everything was centered on it.  And every time someone mentioned it...  Perhaps that was why she felt the overwhelming need to leave.  

The cereal had turned to mush within a few minutes, but Lucrezia only pushed the dish away.  There was no point.  And now she was sure that Nan was upset with her.  Another reason to leave.  Lucrezia wasn't sure where she would go…no doubt the King would have guards after her the minute they discovered she was gone.  They still hadn't found out who had attacked her and Duo at the river.  Lucrezia questioned whether they ever would.  But they still felt that she shouldn't leave the palace for anything.  Returning to the Dragon Market at the Royal Square was out of the question.  Both Duo and Damon knew where it was.  Wufei and Sally's store was much farther away from the palace and only Milliardo had ever been there before.  If guards were sent after her, there would be no way he could tell them where she was headed and still keep his little secret.  She smiled.  The only thing she needed now was to find a way to get off the palace grounds.  Lucrezia left the kitchen; there had to be some spare servant garb around somewhere.  All rationality left her head as she thought only of getting as far away from the palace as she could. 

*          *          *

Milliardo sat in his study, history books strewn over his desk.  The last thing he was doing was studying.  He thought it would be good for him to get his mind on something simple like studying.  After reading the same paragraph three times, he threw the book down.  He couldn't seem to get anything done lately and he didn't have to wonder why.

He stood and began pacing, debating whether to stay holed up inside or wander the grounds.  The former was the more practical choice; he'd probably be mobbed the second he left his suite.  All wedding preparations had been left up to Queen Katarina and Anna, but that didn't stop much of the staff from bugging him with questions he couldn't possibly answer, and didn't care to.  But his study was closing in on him with each minute that passed and he wasn't sure that he could stand much more of it.  Once out of the safety of his suite, there was the chance he might run into Lucrezia, and he didn't think that he could bear to see her again.  After holding her in his arms at the ball, he was ready to charge into his father's study, tell him the whole truth and call off the wedding.  He'd ended up escaping to the gymnasium instead.  As expected, it had been deserted at such a late hour, so Milliardo was able to make excellent use of the punching bag in a corner of the room.  

There was too much conflict inside of him.  He wanted nothing more than to call off his wedding to Anna.  There was no chance of that happening.  Above all else, there was duty.  This was his duty, to his country and to his family.  Now he knew all too well how Relena felt being betrothed to Duo, but in love with Heero.  He allowed himself a quiet laugh when he realized that now both Peacecraft children were in the same predicament.  

How had this all started?  When had he fallen in love with her?  Could he let her go?  He _thought_ that he had, but that was before she had reappeared as a princess.  That just threw everything off again.  This time he couldn't just send her a letter and think for certain that he would never see her again.  A week ago, his life was finally making some sense again.  And now it was like meeting Lucrezia all over again.  Only this time, it was _Princess_ Lucrezia.  

He stopped his pacing abruptly at the loud knock on his door.  He was surprised to see Duo stumble in.

"What are you doing here, Duo?  You should be in bed."

Duo waved his hand dismissively.  "That's what everyone says.  So it naturally follows that I want to be_ out_ of bed.  Am I right?  Besides, you haven't come by to see me."  He clutched at his chest with his good arm.  "I'm hurt," he said, batting his eyes exaggeratedly.  

"I've been busy," Milliardo answered distantly.  He didn't exactly want to get into specifics.  "How did you know where I was?"

"Well, the maids have been doing nothing but talking about 'how quiet' His Highness has been, locking himself in his rooms.  So I figured something was up.  And since you didn't come to see me…and I don't really have to wonder why, do I?"

Milliardo frowned and went back to his desk.  So he was _that_ transparent, was he?  Or maybe it was that Duo knew exactly what was going on.

"Look, Mil' my friend," Duo began as he eased himself into a chair, ignoring the scowl Milliardo gave him at the use of the nickname.  "I've come to realize that our lives have become twisted in this _really_ weird tangle that is pretty much impossible to _un_tangle.  Yeah, we're all pretty screwed.  But in my opinion, though I know perfectly well what you think of my opinions, I think Lu has the worst of it.  Am I right?"

A pause.  "You are right on that…how is she?"

Duo shook his head.  "Confused.  Very confused."  And then he turned completely serious, something Duo rarely did.  "And honestly, it's scaring me.  It's as if the Lucrezia that you fell in love with is no longer there.  Her _spirit_ is gone…or seriously repressed.  She's just going through the motions here, man.  And I can't get her to tell me what's really going on in her head.  All of this…it's catching up to her." 

With a sudden burst of anger, Milliardo flew out of his chair and resumed his pacing.  "There's got to be something that I can do.  Why did all of this happen?"  He paused a moment and turned to face Duo.  "I need to see her.  I've been avoiding this, but there's so much that has to be discussed.  Do you know where she is?"

"Most likely in her room.  Queen Katarina was hoping that she and Anna would take to each other, but uh…well, Anna's a very hard person to take to.  No offense."

Milliardo smiled pensively.  "None taken, my friend.  Come on, I'll help you back to your room."

"So I don't get to see all the drama?"

"_No_.  You're going back to bed, where you belong."

Duo snickered.  "Yes, momma."  He ducked at the fist that flew jokingly past his head, laughing.

*          *          *

Three hours had passed with no sign of Lucrezia.  Milliardo had combed the palace grounds twice, and then a third time with the help of Damon.  He didn't want to alert the whole guard only to have her reappear.  But as the sun began to set, that possibility was looking less and less likely to occur.  Milliardo frowned, running his fingers through his hair as Damon left to inform the Imperial Guard that Princess Lucrezia was missing.  He began pacing the Grand Hall when he heard Anna call him.

"I've been looking for you, Milliardo."  She didn't sound pleased.

Groaning, he turned to see her walking toward him, her arms crossed.  "Listen, Anna…"

"No, you listen to me.  I know what's going on.  And I know that _you_ know that _I_ know.  I think --"

"Look, whatever you're worried about, stop worrying.  Nothing happened between Lucrezia and me, and nothing is _going_ to happen."  Anna paled at his harsh tone.  She narrowed her eyes furiously. 

"How dare you think that I came here to accuse you?  What has gotten into you?"

He hadn't meant to accuse her of anything.  Sighing, he said, "I'm sorry…But there's a lot going on--"

"Your Highness," Damon called out.  Milliardo turned to see five guards total coming toward him and Anna.  "None of the palace staff has reported seeing Lu, I mean, the Princess.  The King has ordered a small company ride out into town and look for her."

Anna looked at Milliardo with surprise.  Princess Lucrezia had gone missing.  She frowned.  The girl just needed some fresh air; she'd be back.  Her eyes widened more, this time in anger, when she heard what Milliardo said next.  

"I'm going with you."

Damon looked at the Prince uncomfortably.  "Um…I'm sorry, Your Highness, but we still have orders from the King not to let you off the grounds."

At that, Milliardo cast Anna a sideways glance and then met Damon's eyes squarely.  "To hell with my father's orders.  I'm going with you.  I'm sure you haven't the slightest idea where to look for her."  With that, he took off in the direction of the stables, the rest of the guards following hesitantly.  Damon looked back at Anna.

"And he does?"

She only turned on her heel and left the Hall. 

*          *          *

Sally's looked up when she heard the door to the Dragon Market open.  Wufei had closed the store an hour ago.  She gasped when she saw Lucrezia come through wearing a tattered maid's dress.  "Lu!  Are you okay?"

She nodded tiredly.  Her arms were wrapped tightly around her body as if trying to keep warm though it was quite warm for spring.  She also looked dejected and miserable.  Sally rushed to help Lucrezia inside and into a chair, not caring that it was made of rare, imported wood.  "We had word from Quatre that you were in the palace.  Did you _walk_ all the way here?  What happened?"

Lucrezia sighed.  "It's good to see you again, Sally."

"Lu…" she replied, frowning worriedly.  

"I'm alright now that I'm here.  Don't worry about it."

Sally wasn't buying it.  "You certainly don't _look_ alright. Please talk to me, Lu.  Why were you in the palace?  Were you _working_ there?  As what, a maid?  Lu, this is serious…what happened?" she asked, her voice on the edge of desperate.  Lucrezia looked up at her friend with sad eyes.  

"It's a really long story.  Can we talk over tea?" she said, attempting a smile.  

"Sure."  Sally stood and went to the living area in the back.  Lucrezia followed at a distance, glad to be in familiar surroundings again.  The tea was prepared quickly, and the two women sat at the small table in the kitchen, recently vacated by Wufei.  He only grunted upon seeing Lucrezia.  After he escaped to the bedroom, Lucrezia took a deep breath and began from the beginning.  Sally had started with a smile on her face at the mention of the handsome stranger who had once come into her shop.  By the time Lucrezia was finished, the smile was long gone.  In its place was a frown of concern.  

"I don't doubt for a second that what you're telling me is true," she began.  "But…you can't hide out here forever, Lu."

"…I know that.  But I can't stay in that castle and I certainly can't go back to Roma.  I'm…I don't know.  I guess I'm  coward."

"No you're not, Lu.  You're just…well, the victim of fate.  Doesn't the Prince know where this place is?  They'd come after you sooner of later…and you're going to have to deal with it.  It's not like you can run away from it forever.  And you can't run away from the Prince forever, either."  

Lucrezia looked away angrily.  "Of course I can."

Sally opened her mouth to try to reason with her, but was stopped by a knock at the door of the store.  "Who could that be?" she wondered aloud.  She stood and left the kitchen.  A moment later, Lucrezia heard raised voices, one Sally's and the other, male.  She stifled a muttered curse and stood so fast she knocked her chair over.  She made for the kitchen exit but instead found herself face to face with those damnable ice blue eyes.  

*          *          *

She stormed through the palace halls, not caring who she sped past or what they thought of it.  She only wanted to get to her suite, where she would be alone.  All the maids and porters running around made it pretty impossible.  So upset was she that she didn't even notice when she flew past Katarina.  

"Anna!"  

She stopped and turned, apologizing to the queen hurriedly.  "What's wrong, dear?" Katarina asked gently.  She took a step back when she saw the fury and pain in the girl's eyes.  "What happened?"

She remained silent for a moment, regarding the Queen with an impassive stare.  "Nothing," she said icily.  

Katarina tilted her head to the side, trying to figure out whether she was angry or sad.  She was about to ask Anna to join her for a cup of tea when she saw Ethan coming toward her.  She grimaced at the look on his face.  

"Where is Milliardo?" he demanded angrily.  

Katarina only stared blankly at her husband while Anna had to stifle a gasp.  She didn't stop it fast enough.  The King turned to her.  "Have you seen him?"

Anna nodded.  "He went with the guards…after Lucrezia."  The words tumbled out of her mouth before she could think to stop them.

The King only grew angrier.  "Why?" he insisted.

Anna began trembling, feeling Ethan's gaze burn through her, aggravating her further.  "Because they know each other already!" she spat, throwing up a defense mechanism she rarely used.  Katarina's eyes widened at her tone, but she let her continue.  "They've known each other for months.  She was the woman who Milliardo refused to name when my sister caught him."  The raw emotion in her voice clearly revealed her feelings.  Katarina made a move to comfort the girl, but Anna quickly stepped away.  "He fell in love with her then, and he still loves her now!" she said through tears.  The King and Queen only remained silent, disbelieving.  

"You can't be serious," Ethan said, deathly quiet.  "And neither of you said anything?"

"Of course not!  What can you do about it?  Nothing!"  The words were no sooner out of her mouth than she pitched forward suddenly.  Ethan reached out and caught her as she fell.  He held her gently, brushing her hair out of her face.  

"Call the physician.  She's burning up," he called to one of the maids nearby.  He shook his head as he checked the girl over.  "Why didn't she say something?" he murmured.  She was unconscious, her breathing shallow.  Ethan picked her up and began toward her room.  "Kat, get Nan."

The Queen nodded.  "Of course."  

A while later, Ethan frowned as he watched one of the guards set the princess down in her bed.  He stepped outside when the doctor came in, retreating to his study.  Before he retired, he left instructions with the guards to send his son directly to him when he returned.  

*          *          *

"What in the hell do you think you're doing here?"  Milliardo's voice was ice cold.  

Lucrezia only crossed her arms defiantly.  "I'd ask you the same thing."

"Don't play games with me, Lucrezia.  What possessed you to leave the safety of the palace when you are now in a very vulnerable position?  Do you realize what could have --"

"Hey, someone tell me what this all about!" Wufei's voice boomed through the kitchen as he entered.  He eyed Milliardo disdainfully.  "Who the hell are you?"

Sally ran up behind Wufei, clutching at his shoulders as she cringed at her husband's words.  "Uh, Wufei" she began, clearing her throat.  "…That's the Crown Prince."

If Wufei was taken aback, he hid it well, paling only slightly.  "Well…Your Highness," he managed to sputter out, not used to treating authority with respect.  "I don't need any fighting going on in my home.  Take it to the garden outside…please."  He stumbled over the last word.  

Milliardo was tempted for a moment to threaten the man with repossession of all his properties and assets, but quickly got a hold of himself.  He turned back to Lucrezia, who was looking at the floor, stony-faced and arms still crossed.  "We need to talk," he said slowly.  

She was about to argue when she caught Sally's eye.  _You can't run away from it forever_.

"Fine."

Milliardo led her outside, remembering their time in that garden when he had come looking for a gift for Relena.  He forced the fond memory from his head as he turned his attention to a more important issue.  "Look, I know you're upset.  But please…" he broke off, the mental speech he had composed in his head on the way there crumbling to nothing.  "Please don't be angry with me for coming here.  I don't want to lose you, Lucrezia."

"You've already lost me, Milliardo," she stated.  "And there was nothing either of us could have done to stop it.  But I can at least try to get away from this nightmare."

He gripped her shoulders in disbelief at what she was saying.  "You can't do that.  Run away from _me_ if you'd like, as much as it would kill me for you to do so.  But you can't do this to your father.  He lost you once; I don't think he could stand losing you again.  I know that you're trying to be strong, to get past all of this.  But running away and being stubborn is not the way to go about it.  You may not like it; you may hate what life has done to you.  But like it or not, you have people that depend on you now."

She winced guiltily.  For a long while, she had been so caught up in the pain of seeing Milliardo with Anna that she hadn't thought about Antonio.  Or rather, she hadn't wanted to.  But he was right.  And it took all of her strength to realize and accept that.  Nodding her head, she closed her eyes.  She gasped when she felt fingertips caressing her face, opening her eyes to find Milliardo looking down at her, a distant look in his eyes.  He was looking into her deep violet eyes as if he'd never seen them before, and was utterly fascinated by them.  He leaned down to place a soft kiss on her lips, and then he took her in his arms, holding her tightly.  

"I love you so much," he murmured into her ear.  His impassioned words were her undoing.  All the emotional walls she had hastily erected collapsed as she wrapped her arms around his neck.  "I want to be with you more than anything."

"So do I…"

"Your Highness?  I saw your horse outside." Damon said uncertainly, stumbling outside.  He blinked in surprise when the couple parted and he found himself staring at the missing princess.  "Eh, Princess?  Um…I'm confused."

Lucrezia had to bite her lip to keep from laughing as Milliardo rolled his eyes and led Lucrezia back inside.  "Well, as you can see, I've found her.  Come on, Damon.  We're going home."  The guard nodded hesitantly, still not quite sure what was going on.  

Milliardo led Lucrezia back inside, apologizing to Wufei and Sally.  

"No apology is necessary, Your Highness," Sally said for her husband, who was standing stiffly with his arms crossed over his chest.  "Lu, will we be hearing from you soon?"

She smiled.  "I hope so.  Once I figure out what's going to happen to me.  I'm sorry that I can't go back the Square with Quatre.  Thank you so much for everything that you and Wufei have done for me.  If not for you, I think I would have been doomed a long time ago."

Tearfully, Sally reached out and embraced Lucrezia.  Milliardo, Wufei, and Damon all looked on uncomfortably.  

"I hate to interrupt this heartbreaking goodbye, but the King's gonna be pissed as hell when we get back.  So if we could _please_ be on our way before I lose my job…" Damon said, making his way to the door suggestively.  

Milliardo and Lucrezia followed quickly.  Night had long fallen, and Damon was right.  The trio mounted their rides and began the journey home.  They rode in silence, though Damon was itching to find out what was going on between the Prince and Lu.  He had often caught her and Duo talking in hushed voices, quieting instantly when they saw Damon, or anyone else, approaching.  There was definitely something up at the palace.  Anna's hostility, Lucrezia's perpetual sadness, Milliardo's moodiness…Damon got a rough idea of what might have happened.  He shook his head as they rode into the castle.  It wasn't going to be pretty when they got in. 

*          *          *

            Pagan met the Prince at the entrance nearest the stables.  "My Prince, your father requests your presence right away in his study."  The old man's tone was anxious.

            "I could have guessed that."  Milliardo drew in a pained breath.  He _would_ tell his father everything now.  Beside him, Lucrezia looked up at him in concern.  

            "What's wrong?"

            "Technically, I'm still under house arrest."  He spat the last two words out bitterly.  "So I'm going to have to go in there now and finally tell them everything."

            Lucrezia nodded.  Then she took his hand in hers.  "I'm coming with you.  You know, to back you up."  

Milliardo smiled and nodded.  "Thank you, Lu."  The pair began up the grand staircase together.

*

            "What the hell is going on?" King Peacecraft demanded upon seeing his son enter his study, his hand clasped firmly to Lucrezia's.  "Neither of you were to leave the palace.  Explain yourselves."

            "Father," began Milliardo.  He paused in surprise as he realized that he wasn't as nervous confronting his father as he thought he'd be.  "There's something I need to tell you.  We…"

            "I know already."

            "You…what?"

            "Anna…has fallen ill.  But she told your mother and me what happened.  I can't believe you didn't tell us sooner, Milliardo."

            Milliardo frowned before answering.  "What do you mean Anna's ill?"

            Ethan sighed impatiently.  "The doctor is in with her right now.  This effectively cancels, or at least postpones, your wedding.  Your mother and I remain very concerned, though."  He paused for a moment and eyed Lucrezia thoughtfully.  "_How_ did all this happen?"

            Before Milliardo could respond, the door opened to admit the physician.  The old man groaned tiredly as he entered.  

            "What news of Anna, Doctor?" asked the King.

            The doctor took a seat gingerly and rubbed absently at his forehead.  "Well, she's sleeping peacefully now.  To put it simply, she, quite literally, worried herself sick.  She'd not been eating or sleeping well.  That and her emotional state caused her to react the way she did.  If she wasn't as closed off as she is, you might have noticed it sooner."  The doctor looked sternly in the direction of the two young people still standing at the doorway.  The Prince was looking on guiltily, while the Princess' gaze hovered between the King and his son.  

            "I want the truth.  All of it."  The King's glare was unrelenting.

            Milliardo nodded and, glancing down at Lucrezia, began.

~~~

Author's Notes/Comments/Rants: Oh goodness me.  First off, I apologize for the _huge_ _crappiness_ of this chapter…you have no idea how much trouble I had writing this.  It was like, I knew where point A and point B were, but I couldn't draw a damned straight line.  Or even a crooked line, or any sort of line that got me from A to B.  It was like…the line started at A and then, like…I ran out of ink.  It was driving me crazy.  Just ask my roommate.  But I'm slowly working out of this severe bout of writer's block.  How sad…and it just struck me now that the ages make no sense.  For clarification, the five Gundam pilots, Sally, Milliardo, Lucrezia, Anna, and Treize are all nineteen/twenty.  I didn't think the ages mattered that much until I realized that their real ages would make a lot of the story not very plausible.  So yeah…

Also, thank you everyone for all your wonderful reviews!  They're what kept me writing (or trying to) these few weeks.  Even though almost every attempt had me running into that huge brick wall I still haven't quite gotten past.  They're also what kept me writing lately now that I've started piano back up (or tried to).  My wrists and fingers are _very_ out of whack from the strain of not having played in so long.  But that's what made me realize how out of practice I was and so…I've been overtaxing my hands a lot lately.  My best friend finally got Internet, so we've been typing up copious amounts of angst and other nonsense.  I'm also really nervous about my taking my first college finals.  Ack, the stress!  

I feel like Watase Yuu writing in the margins of her mangas.  By the way, I'm just dying to write a Fushigi Yûgi fic…as soon as I finish watching the show.  I just love Hotohori!  It's so sad that he has to be the odd person out in that love triangle.  Not that I wish him with Miaka (*shudder*).  But he does get over her.  It's just a shame that he…wait, am I spoiling something?  Okay, I won't say anymore.  Besides, this is getting too long and too off topic.  Till next chapter! 


	9. Author Noteplease read and don't shoot m...

04.30.2003 @ 2249

Okay…

            You all have full permission to smack me…and I totally think you should, as that might help me get an IDEA HERE!!  I'm so jammed it's not even funny.  _Really_…

            I _never_ thought that I'd have such a hard time writing this story…I've gotten plenty of words of encouragement from a lot of you, and thank you very much for them.  I'm really trying here, guys.  If you have any ideas for me, by all means send them my way.  I probably won't use them (though there's always the chance that I _will_), but they might help stir up the creative…whatevers in my brain.  *sigh*  

            But the _good_ news is that school is out for me, and since I only work part-time, I can devote most of my time to writing and the like.  I haven't been doing much lately…except…*grins*…for my new J-rock obsession.  

            OMG, I _love_ Gackt!  I cannot say this enough times…and there are a slew of other artists that I've recently discovered.  Anyway, that's not what this is about…although if you care to discuss them with me one day, I'd be more than happy to…^_^

            Okay, so…. what was my point?  Oh yeah, _please_ don't think that I've abandoned this fic!!  I honestly never expected to get as many readers as I did.  I've dubbed this my "GW soap opera" fic because…. well, that's what it is.  And I'm really trying to finish it…my original sketch/outline for this had it over and done with in seven chapters.  And as you can see, I'm not even halfway through chapter nine, and I can't seem to put together a decent sentence.  It's been what, five months???  Yeah, I'm kicking myself here…

            I hope you all can bear with me a bit longer, and hopefully I'll have something put together…

Love and lots of Gackt,

Mistress Noin


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